Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar (use past tense consistently), simplify and organize ideas into a clear topic sentence plus one or two supporting details, and avoid repetition. Use linking words (for example, “also” or “and”) to connect ideas. Be specific about the bikes and one brief memory to make the answer more vivid.

例: Yes. I had several bikes when I was a child. For example, I owned a mountain bike and a road bike that my uncle gave me. I loved riding them around the neighborhood, especially on weekends, and I spent hours practicing tricks with my friends.

提案: Make the answer more concise and use clearer linking words to present reasons. Use correct verb forms and noun phrases (e.g., “a bicycle,” “motorcycle”). Add a contrasting point or specific example to enrich content and show broader awareness.

例: Yes, bicycles are very popular in my country. Many families choose bicycles because they are much cheaper than motorcycles and cost less to maintain. For example, students and low-income workers often cycle to school or work to save money and avoid traffic.

× When I was a child I have a several type of bikes means I have a MTB bike, I have a factor bike which I which is gifted by my uncle and at that age I am very fond of riding a bike.

✓ When I was a child I had several types of bikes; for example, I had an MTB and a factory-made bike that was gifted to me by my uncle, and at that age I was very fond of riding.

Multiple tense errors: the sentence refers to the past but uses present tense verbs 'have' and 'am'. Use past tense 'had' and 'was' to match 'When I was a child'. Singular/plural and article issues: 'a several type of bikes' is incorrect; use 'several types of bikes' (no indefinite article before 'several', and 'type' should be plural because 'several' indicates more than one). 'MTB bike' is redundant (MTB stands for mountain bike) but can stay as 'an MTB' for clarity. 'factor bike' likely intended 'factory-made bike' or 'factory bike'; corrected to 'factory-made bike'. Also correct relative clause: 'which I which is gifted by my uncle' is ungrammatical; use 'that was gifted to me by my uncle'. Suggestions: keep verb tenses consistent (use past for past events), remove unnecessary articles before 'several', match noun number with quantifiers, and use clear relative clauses with correct pronouns and tense.'},{