Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevap doğal fakat dolgu kelimeler (umm, uh) çok fazla ve bazı cümle zaman uyumsuzluğu var. Daha açık bir konu cümlesi kurup, ardından kısa destekleyici detaylar verin. Örneğin geçmişte nadiren sürdüğünüzü, nedenlerini ve sonrasında ne olduğunu mantıklı bağlaçlarla belirtin. Cümleleri 3–4 cümleyi geçmeyecek şekilde sadeleştirin ve zamanlara dikkat edin.

例: I had a pink bike when I was a child. At first I rarely rode it because I was afraid of falling, but after some practice I became more confident. By the time I was ten I could ride it regularly around my neighborhood.

提案: Cevap net bir görüş içeriyor ancak dilbilgisi ve kelime seçimi geliştirilmelidir. 'Not that often' yerine daha doğal ifadeler kullanın; nedenleri mantıklı bağlaçlarla sıralayın ve somut örnekler verin. Ayrıca tek cümlede fazla tekrar ve dolgu ifadelerinden kaçının.

例: I don't think bicycles are very popular in my country because most people prefer cars and buses. There are few bike lanes or safe places to cycle, so many people find it inconvenient. As a result, cycling is mainly limited to children or recreational use on weekends.

× Yes, I had a glorious umm, pink bike when I was a child and uh, I cannot ride it that often because, umm, I was afraid to fall, uh, but I learned and I started to ride my bike.

✓ Yes, I had a glorious pink bike when I was a child, and I could not ride it that often because I was afraid of falling, but I learned and started to ride my bike.

The sentence mixes past and present modal forms. 'Cannot' is present; when referring to past ability or habit use past modal 'could'. Use 'afraid of falling' (preposition + gerund). Also unnecessary filler words removed for clarity. Suggestion: keep past tense consistently for events in childhood and use 'afraid of' + gerund and 'could not' for past inability.

× In my opinion, bikes are not that often.

✓ In my opinion, bikes are not very common.

The original uses 'not that often' incorrectly to describe a noun. That phrase modifies frequency of action, not existence. Use adjective 'common' to describe prevalence. Suggestion: use 'common' or 'popular' for things and 'not that often' for actions (e.g., 'people do not ride bikes that often').

× It's just because the transportation is so mixed in my country.

✓ This is because transportation in my country is so mixed.

'It's just because' is conversational but awkward; better to make the subject clear. Also word order 'transportation is so mixed' is acceptable but placing 'transportation in my country' improves flow. Suggestion: make causal sentences direct: 'This is because...' and place modifiers next to the noun.

× Uh, like I mean we use a lot of cars and the buses but not bikes and there's no place for the bike.

✓ We use a lot of cars and buses, but not many bikes, and there are no places for bikes.

Original mixes definite/indefinite articles and singular/plural forms inconsistently ('the buses', 'the bike'). Use plural without 'the' for general statements: 'cars and buses', 'many bikes'. Also subject-verb agreement: 'there are no places'. Suggestion: use plural nouns for generalization and match verb number.