Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant, with a good personal detail (gift and feelings). To improve, make the response more concise and natural by using a strong topic sentence, removing repetition, and linking details logically. Also vary vocabulary slightly (e.g., "given" → "bought" or "gifted" once) and avoid repeating phrases like "my parents" too often. Keep answers within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bike as a child — it was a small blue one with training wheels. My parents gifted it to me for my birthday, and we would ride together in the evenings while they taught me to balance. I remember feeling very proud and excited whenever I rode it.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but has repetition, hesitations, and unclear phrasing. Improve coherence by starting with a clear topic sentence, then give two concise reasons with linking words (e.g., "because" and "so"). Use more precise vocabulary (e.g., "common", "convenient", "economical") and avoid repeating words. Aim for 2–3 sentences with a linking word to connect reason and result.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are cheap and convenient for short trips. For example, many people prefer bikes over cars in congested cities since they are easier to park and use less fuel, so commuting becomes faster and more economical.

× My parents made sure I wouldn't fall and I used to ride it in the evenings with my parents and I felt very proud when they gifted it to me.

✓ My parents made sure I wouldn't fall, and I used to ride it in the evenings with them. I felt very proud when they gave it to me.

Run-on sentence and repetitive wording: two clauses were joined without proper punctuation causing a sentence-structure issue (type 26) and repetitive phrase 'with my parents' is unnecessary. Also 'gifted it to me' is acceptable but 'gave it to me' is more natural in this context. Break into two sentences and replace the repeated phrase with a pronoun to improve clarity and flow. Note: I corrected structure while adhering to allowed problem types (10 and 26).

× Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because that is the that is one source of transport which I would say people use it more rather than preferring cars, because by travelling, by travelling with bikes, it makes the travelling more easier.

✓ Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are an important means of transport that people use more than cars, and travelling by bike is easier.

Several pronoun and structure issues: 'that is the that is' is a duplication and incorrect; 'one source of transport' followed by 'which I would say people use it more' mixes relative clause and object pronoun incorrectly (type 12). 'People use it more rather than preferring cars' is awkward; replace with 'people use more than cars' to fix comparison (type 25). 'By travelling, by travelling with bikes, it makes the travelling more easier' contains unnecessary repetition and incorrect extra subject 'it' plus double comparative 'more easier' (type 20 and 25). Revise to 'travelling by bike is easier' to correct pronoun and adverb placement and comparative form.