Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Điểm yếu chính: thì sai và ngữ pháp không nhất quán (sử dụng thì hiện tại trong khi nói về quá khứ), câu dài lủng củng và có lỗi từ vựng ("bags" thay vì "bikes"); thiếu liên kết mượt mà giữa các phần câu. Cách cải thiện: (1) Dùng thì quá khứ khi kể về thời thơ ấu; (2) Sử dụng chủ đề câu rõ ràng: bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề ngắn gọn; (3) Sửa từ vựng chính xác và tránh từ không liên quan; (4) Thêm một câu chi tiết hỗ trợ bằng liên từ thích hợp (because, so, therefore) và giữ tổng số câu không quá 5 câu. Ví dụ làm lại: "I didn’t have a bike when I was a child because my parents thought I was too small to ride safely. However, I’m actually grateful for that decision because it showed they cared about my safety. As I got older, they let me try other activities like cycling in the park under supervision."

例: I didn’t have a bike when I was a child because my parents thought I was too small to ride safely. However, I’m actually grateful for that decision because it showed they cared about my safety. Later, when I was older, they allowed me to ride a bicycle in the park while they watched, which helped me build confidence gradually.

提案: Điểm yếu chính: cấu trúc ngữ pháp lỗi (câu rời rạc, thì không nhất quán), phát biểu chung chung không cụ thể, và có lỗi từ vựng/đảo trật tự ("which is always live"; "bikes no longer be in our life"). Cách cải thiện: (1) Bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng; (2) Dùng từ vựng chính xác (e.g. bustling city life, motorcycles, e-scooters); (3) Thêm một hoặc hai chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ: số lượng người sử dụng, lý do như tốc độ, địa hình, hạ tầng thiếu làn xe đạp); (4) Sử dụng liên từ để nối ý (because, therefore, so) và giữ dưới 5 câu. Ví dụ làm lại: "Bicycles aren’t very popular in my country because our cities are very busy and people prefer faster transport like motorbikes or electric scooters. Additionally, there are few dedicated bike lanes, which makes cycling less safe and less common. I wish biking became more popular for health and environmental reasons."

例: Bicycles aren’t very popular in my country because our cities are very busy and people prefer faster transport like motorbikes or electric scooters. There are also few dedicated bike lanes, which makes cycling feel unsafe for many people. I hope the government improves cycling infrastructure so more people will choose bikes for short trips.

× When I was a child, I don't have any bags or personal vehicle because my parents assume that I am too small for that.

✓ When I was a child, I didn't have any bags or a personal vehicle because my parents assumed that I was too small for that.

The sentence refers to a past time ('When I was a child'), so present tense verbs ('don't have', 'assume', 'am') are incorrect. Use past simple ('didn't have', 'assumed', 'was') to match the time reference. Also add the article 'a' before 'personal vehicle' for correctness.

× But to be honest, I'm feeling low key gratitude that because my parents actually care about my safety.

✓ But to be honest, I feel a low-key gratitude because my parents actually cared about my safety.

The phrase 'I'm feeling' is present continuous and awkward here; 'I feel' is more natural. 'Low key' should be hyphenated as 'low-key' and used as an adjective before 'gratitude'. Because the context is past (childhood), 'care' should be in past tense 'cared'. Remove extraneous 'that'.

× I don't think bikes are popular in my country because our country which is always live with bustling and busy rhythm, we prefer something fast and convenient like electric scooter or motorbike.

✓ I don't think bikes are popular in my country because our country, which always lives with a bustling and busy rhythm, prefers fast and convenient vehicles like electric scooters or motorbikes.

The relative clause needs present simple for a general statement: 'which always lives'. Subject-verb agreement and tense: 'we prefer' should be adjusted to match 'our country ... prefers' or keep 'we prefer' but avoid repeating subject; here 'our country ... prefers' is smoother. Use plural nouns 'electric scooters' and 'motorbikes'. Add articles 'a' before 'bustling' is not needed when using 'a bustling rhythm' so include 'a'.

× But I feel quite disappointed that bikes no longer be in our life.

✓ But I feel quite disappointed that bikes are no longer part of our lives.

The construction 'no longer be' is incorrect; use present simple 'are no longer' for a current state. 'In our life' is unnatural; use 'part of our lives' (plural) for general statement about people's lives.