Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct minor grammar repetitions. Start with a direct topic sentence, give one or two specific supporting details (age, effort, result), and use a linking word for clarity. Avoid repeating phrases ("I could I could"). Also replace colloquial "we did it in the end" with a clearer result like "I finally learned."

例: Yes — I had my first bike when I was about ten. At first I found it difficult and fell a few times, but after a few weeks of practice I finally learned to ride confidently.

提案: Organize the answer with a clear topic sentence contrasting Somalia and Sweden, use correct grammar and linking words (however, whereas), and give specific reasons or examples (infrastructure, climate, culture). Avoid vague phrases like "not a lot of bikes than people" and unnecessary fillers.

例: I think bikes are not very common in Somalia, whereas they are very popular in Sweden. In Somalia, poor infrastructure and cultural habits mean few people cycle; however, in Sweden many people commute by bike because cities have safe bike lanes and cycling is encouraged.

× 'I got my first one when I was at about the age of 10 years old.'

✓ 'I got my first one when I was about 10 years old.'

'Redundant words: "at" and "the age of" together with "about 10 years old" create repetition and awkwardness. Use a single concise expression: "when I was about 10 years old." This keeps tense and meaning correct.'

× 'It took me a long time before I could I could learn how to bike, but we did it in the end.'

✓ 'It took me a long time before I could learn how to ride a bike, but I did in the end.'

'Incorrect repetition and verb choice: "could I could" repeats the modal and is ungrammatical. "Learn how to bike" is informal; "learn how to ride a bike" or "learn to ride a bike" is preferred. Also "we did it in the end" mismatches subject: the student is speaking about themselves, so use "I did in the end." Keep past tense consistent.'

× 'And so I'm born in Somalia and there I wouldn't say bikes are usually normal because there's not a lot of bikes than people who usually don't know how to bike.'

✓ 'I was born in Somalia, and I wouldn't say bikes are common there because there are not a lot of bikes and many people do not know how to ride them.'

'Multiple sentence structure errors: "I'm born" is incorrect for past time; use simple past "I was born." "Bikes are usually normal" is awkward — use "bikes are common." "There's not a lot of bikes than people who usually don't know how to bike" is ungrammatical and unclear: incorrect comparative structure and pronoun use. Break into clearer clauses: "there are not a lot of bikes" and "many people do not know how to ride them." This fixes verb tense, agreement, and clarity.'

× 'But I live in Sweden now and there it's pretty popular.'

✓ 'But I live in Sweden now, and they are pretty popular there.'

'Pronoun and reference issue with tense: "there it's pretty popular" uses "it" to refer to "bikes," which is plural. Use plural pronoun "they" and place "there" at end for natural word order: "they are pretty popular there." Present simple is correct for a general fact.'

× 'People go to the work or to other places with bikes, so it's popular.'

✓ 'People go to work or to other places by bike, so they are popular.'

'Article and preposition errors and pronoun agreement: "go to the work" wrongly uses the definite article; use "go to work" for routine. Use preposition "by" with modes of transport: "by bike." Conclude with plural pronoun "they are popular" to match plural subject "bikes." Present simple fits habitual actions.'