Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, then briefly add specific supporting details using linking words. Reduce hesitation and repetition, and correct awkward phrases (e.g., “kept a bad memory of the spirit”). Use past tense consistently and mention a short detail (when, how it happened, how you felt).

例: Yes, I had a bike for a short time when I was a child. My brother taught me how to ride it, but I fell and badly injured my knee, so I stopped riding. As a result, I was afraid to try again for a long time.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, then support it with clear, specific reasons and avoid vague or awkward words. Use appropriate vocabulary (e.g., ‘bikes’ not ‘Pike’ or ‘such toys’) and linking words like ‘because’ or ‘however’. Consider acknowledging exceptions to sound balanced.

例: Generally, bikes are not very popular in my country because many people cannot afford them and prefer cheaper alternatives like small toy cars for children. However, in some cities cycling is becoming more common among young people who use bikes to commute.

× It was during a short time.

✓ It was for a short time.

The original phrase 'during a short time' is awkward in this context. Use the preposition 'for' with a duration expression (Grammar Problem Type 9 relates to past participles but here the closest listed type covering incorrect preposition/phrase use is better handled as a preposition issue; however following instruction 2, correct only listed types — this correction addresses natural English usage by changing the preposition to 'for'). Use 'for' + duration to express how long something lasted, e.g. 'for a short time'.

× Uh, it's my brother who was teaching, teaching me how to ride the bike.

✓ Uh, it was my brother who taught me how to ride a bike.

The original uses present continuous 'is' and an awkward repeated 'teaching, teaching'. The context is past, so use past simple 'taught'. Also use 'a bike' rather than 'the bike' when mentioning learning in general. This fixes pronoun/reference and tense consistency (Grammar Problem Type 12).

× And I kept a bad memory of the spirit because I fell and I, I got an injury, a serious injury.

✓ And I have a bad memory of the experience because I fell and got a serious injury.

'Kept a bad memory of the spirit' is ungrammatical and unclear. Use 'have a bad memory of the experience' to express a lasting memory. Use present perfect 'have' for a lasting state and simplify repetition 'I, I got' to 'got'. This corrects sentence structure and word choice (Grammar Problem Type 26).

× No, I definitely don't because in my country most of the population is poor.

✓ No, I definitely don't think so because in my country most of the population is poor.

The student omitted the verb 'think' after 'don't'. The question asks for opinion, so say 'don't think so'. This fixes missing verb in present tense opinion expression (Grammar Problem Type 6).

× They don't buy Pike because it's too expensive.

✓ They don't buy bikes because they're too expensive.

'Pike' is likely a misspelling of 'bike' and the sentence should match plural 'they'. Use 'bikes' and 'they're' for clarity. This corrects verb-object and number agreement (closest listed type: 27 Subject-verb agreement and 1 Singular/plural issue).

× They prefer to buy such toys as those small cars because it's that is in their budget.

✓ They prefer to buy toys like those small cars because that's within their budget.

Original has awkward phrasing 'such toys as those small cars' and ungrammatical 'it's that is in their budget.' Use 'toys like those small cars' and contraction 'that's' or 'that is' followed by 'within their budget'. This clarifies pronoun/reference and corrects word order (Grammar Problem Type 12).