Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Сократите заполнители (uh, um), исправьте ошибки лексики и грамматики, используйте связующее предложение и более точные детали. Начните с прямого утверждения, затем объясните причину и закончите выводом. Например, замените «couldn't write it» на «couldn't ride it» и избегайте повторов («I can't, I can't»).

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My parents bought me a brand-new one when I was five, but it was too large for me, so I couldn’t ride it properly. As a result, I never really learned to ride well, and even now I still struggle with it.

提案: Уберите повторения, используйте связующие слова для логики и добавьте конкретность (например, где именно и кто их использует). Начните с чётого мнения, затем приведите конкретные примеры и причину популярности.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. In cities and suburbs I often see children and commuters cycling daily, especially in parks and near schools, because cycling is inexpensive and convenient for short trips.

× my, uh, parents bought me really brand new bike.

✓ my parents bought me a brand-new bike.

The noun 'bike' is singular and requires an article. Use the indefinite article 'a' before a singular countable noun. Also remove extra filler commas and hyphenate 'brand-new'. Suggestion: 'my parents bought me a brand-new bike.'

× I couldn't write it and, and still, uh, I can't, I can't ride a bike until this day.

✓ I couldn't ride it, and even now I still can't ride a bike.

The verb 'write' is incorrect here; the intended verb is 'ride'. Also tense consistency: 'couldn't ride' (past ability) then 'still can't' (present inability). Use 'even now' or 'until this day' placed appropriately. Suggestion: 'I couldn't ride it, and even now I still can't ride a bike.'

× That's really unfortunate.

✓ That's really unfortunate.

This sentence is grammatical. It correctly uses the present simple to state a general comment about the situation. No correction needed.

× they're quite popular in, in my country, in the all in cities in even in my in my neighborhood, I can see kids riding their bikes every single day

✓ they're quite popular in my country. In all the cities, even in my neighborhood, I can see kids riding their bikes every single day.

Problems: repeated fillers and wrong preposition/article use. Use 'in my country' (not 'in, in my country'), 'in all the cities' should be 'in all the cities' or better 'in cities' but with 'the' use 'in all the cities'. 'even in my neighborhood' is correct but avoid repetition. Break into two sentences for clarity. Suggestion: 'they're quite popular in my country. In all the cities, even in my neighborhood, I can see kids riding their bikes every single day.'

× and it seems like they're really happy and excited about it.

✓ and it seems like they're really happy and excited about riding them.

Pronoun reference: 'it' is vague after mentioning 'kids riding their bikes'. Use 'riding them' or 'riding bikes' to clearly refer to bikes. Suggestion: 'and it seems like they're really happy and excited about riding them.'