Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, avoid repetition, and use a simple clear structure: a topic sentence stating you had a bike, one or two supporting details (what kind, where you rode it, who with). Use correct verb tense (past) and remove unnecessary descriptions (e.g., “two wheels” is obvious). Add a linking word for coherence.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was a small red bicycle that I rode on the rooftop and around the neighborhood, and I often played with it together with my brother.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence, then support with specific comparisons and a linking word. Avoid repeating phrases (e.g., “they use they use”). Give one concrete reason why provinces use bikes more (cost, terrain, traffic) and contrast briefly with cities.

例: Yes, bikes are still quite popular in my country. However, it depends on the area: in rural provinces people use bicycles more often because they are cheaper and roads are less crowded, whereas in cities many people prefer motorbikes or cars due to longer distances and heavier traffic.

× Yes, I have a bike.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.

The question asks about possession in the past ('Did you have a bike when you were a child?'), so the student should use past tense 'had' rather than present tense 'have'. Use past simple for completed past situations. Suggestion: match verb tense to the time reference in the question (use 'had').

× When I was a child.

✓ (Remove this fragment or combine it with the previous sentence: 'Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.')

This is a sentence fragment lacking a main verb or complete clause, causing an incomplete thought. Fragments should be attached to a complete sentence or rephrased as full sentences. Suggestion: combine with the previous sentence or add a verb to make it complete.

× that bike had two wheels, the front, in the front and in the back.

✓ That bike had two wheels, one at the front and one at the back.

The original phrase is awkward and repetitive ('the front, in the front and in the back') and lacks clarity. Rephrase to clearly state 'one at the front and one at the back'. Suggestion: use parallel structure and clear determiners for parts of objects.

× And I used to play with it all the time around our rooftop together with my brother.

✓ I used to play with it all the time on our rooftop with my brother.

Preposition use is slightly off ('around our rooftop' is unnatural) and 'together with my brother' is wordy. Use 'on our rooftop' for location and 'with my brother' for company. 'Used to' correctly indicates habitual past; keep it but adjust preposition and phrasing.

× I do think that bikes are popular in my country.

✓ I think that bikes are popular in my country.

Using 'do' for emphasis is grammatical but unnecessary in this neutral answer. Prefer the simple present 'I think' for general statements. No tense change needed otherwise.

× However I also believe that it depends on which place you are currently at.

✓ However, I also believe it depends on where you are.

The phrase 'which place you are currently at' is wordy and awkward. Use 'where you are' to express location more naturally. Also include a comma after 'However'. Suggestion: simplify clauses for fluent speech.

× So if you are in the province, most of the time they use they use the bikes more often than those in the cities.

✓ So if you are in the provinces, people use bikes more often than people in the cities.

Original has repetition ('they use they use') and unclear reference ('the province' vs 'those in the cities'). Use plural 'provinces' or 'rural areas' and 'people' as the subject to match verb 'use'. Remove duplicate words. Suggestion: avoid repetition and ensure clear subject reference and agreement.