Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve sentence clarity, grammar and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct verb tense and article use (e.g., “a bike,” “a scooter”), avoid repetition and filler sounds (uh).

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. I could ride one, but I only owned a scooter in secondary school, which made it much easier to get from home to school. As a result, I was usually on time and saved about 15 minutes each way.

提案: Give a direct opinion sentence and support it with specific examples or comparisons. Use correct noun forms and articles (e.g., “bikes,” “scooters,” “are”), avoid repetition, and use linking words like “however” or “although” for contrast.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular, especially among students at primary and secondary schools. However, scooters are even more common because they are cheaper and easier to park, so many children and teenagers prefer them.

× Actually I know how to ride a bike but I have never had one bike in my childhood but I have a Scooby when I was on secondary school and this make it easier to get home to to get from home to school, uh more.

✓ Actually I knew how to ride a bike, but I never had a bike in my childhood. I had a scooter when I was in secondary school, and it made it easier to get from home to school.

This sentence contains multiple errors: 1) Tense consistency: The student is talking about childhood, so past tense should be used ('knew' not 'know'; 'never had' is correct but keep past overall). 2) Article/quantifier and word order: 'one bike' is incorrect — use 'a bike' or simply 'a bike' (singular article). 3) Word choice: 'Scooby' is likely intended as 'scooter'; replace with 'scooter'. 4) Preposition and article use: say 'in secondary school' not 'on secondary school'. 5) Verb agreement/tense: 'this make' should be past 'it made' to match past context. 6) Redundancy/wording: remove duplicated 'to' and unnecessary filler 'uh more'. Suggestion: split into two sentences for clarity and correct past tense and articles.

× Sure, of course it's really popular among UH students at UH primary and secondary school, but I I think the scooters is more popular than the bike.

✓ Sure, of course bikes are really popular among UH students at primary and secondary schools, but I think scooters are more popular than bikes.

Errors explained: 1) Subject-verb agreement and number: use plural 'bikes are' and 'scooters are' when referring generally to these items. 2) Article/number consistency: 'the bike' and 'the scooters is' are incorrect for general statements; use plural nouns without 'the' or use 'the' if referring to specific known items. 3) Repetition and venue phrasing: remove repeated 'UH' before both levels and use 'primary and secondary schools' (plural) to indicate the levels. 4) Extra filler 'I I' should be 'I'. Overall, ensure plurality matches the plural subjects and verbs and keep consistent general reference.