Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and avoid grammar errors and redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two supporting details using linking words. Correct subject-verb phrasing and remove extra fillers (e.g., repeat words).

例: Yes. I had a white-and-red bicycle that I loved. I used to ride it with my friends around the neighbourhood, and because we explored new streets every weekend, it became one of my favourite childhood memories.

提案: Avoid filler words and unclear vocabulary. Give a clear direct answer, then explain with specific reasons or examples, using linking words (e.g., 'however', 'for example'). Use correct verbs (ride, commute) and accurate nouns (region, city).

例: Yes, they are popular, but popularity varies by region. For example, in larger cities many people ride bikes to commute because it is cheaper and faster, whereas in rural areas cars are more common.

× Yes, I had a white and red bicycle which I loved it so much and I I used to ride it with my friends around the neighborhood and it is one of my favorite memories from my childhood.

✓ Yes, I had a white and red bicycle that I loved so much, and I used to ride it with my friends around the neighborhood; it is one of my favorite childhood memories.

Problems: incorrect relative clause structure and redundant pronoun (which I loved it) and duplicated word 'I I'. The relative clause should not repeat the object with an additional pronoun: use 'that I loved' or 'which I loved' but without 'it'. Remove the duplicate 'I'. Use a comma or semicolon to separate coordinated clauses and simplify 'from my childhood' to 'childhood memories' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: practice forming relative clauses by not repeating the object and proofread to remove duplicated words. Grammar problem type ID:12,27

× Uh, yes. To be honest, it depends on the uh, city in uh, religion, uh, some people like it so much and write it uh, to school classes or their work.

✓ Yes. To be honest, it depends on the city or region; some people like them so much that they ride them to school or to work.

Problems: 'religion' is incorrect word choice for 'region' and 'write' is wrong verb for 'ride'. Also subject/pronoun agreement: 'bikes' (plural) requires 'them' not 'it', and the structure 'ride them to school or to work' is natural. Use 'city or region' rather than 'city in religion'. Also combine clauses clearly and remove hesitations. Suggestion: choose correct words ('region' not 'religion'), ensure plural pronouns match plural nouns, and use the correct verb 'ride' for bicycles; practice proofreading for homophone errors.