Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and accurate: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, avoid filler words (like, actually), and use linking words for coherence. Mention specific brief details (when, who, what happened) and correct vocabulary (ride a bike, learn to ride). Keep answers to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike as a child because I was afraid of riding. My cousin owned one and we often tried to ride together, but I usually fell and got discouraged. As a result, I never learned to ride properly.

提案: Answer the question directly with a clear opinion, then give two specific supporting reasons using linking words (for example, because, moreover). Avoid repetition and filler words, use correct collocations (popular in my country, young people learning to ride). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because many children and teenagers learn to ride them as a pastime and a way to get around. For example, you can see groups of young people cycling in parks and commuting short distances. However, I personally never got comfortable riding one.

× No, I never had a bike when I was a child I actually was scared of bikes.

✓ No, I never had a bike when I was a child. I was actually scared of bikes.

Run-on sentence and awkward word order: the original joins two independent clauses without punctuation and places 'actually' before 'was' which is less natural. Separate into two sentences and position 'actually' before the main verb for clarity. Suggestion: use a period between independent clauses and 'I was actually scared...' for natural emphasis.

× Actually my cousin had a bike and we used to like try to ride ride them but like I would always fall out and I never was able to learn how to write it a bike.

✓ Actually, my cousin had a bike and we used to try to ride them, but I would always fall off and I was never able to learn how to ride a bike.

Multiple issues filtered by allowed list: 'ride ride' is a repetition; 'fall out' is incorrect collocation — use 'fall off' for bikes; 'never was able' is awkward past-tense ordering—use 'I was never able'; 'write' is a typographical error for 'ride'; article placement 'a bike' should follow 'ride'. Keep verbs in correct present/past participle forms and collocations. Suggestion: remove duplication, use 'try to ride', 'fall off', and 'learn how to ride a bike'.

× Bikes, Bikes do have a tendency. They do tend to be popular on my country because you see every child, like kid, young people trying to learn how to ride it, trying to just manage their their way through, which is absolutely phenomenal.

✓ Bikes do tend to be popular in my country because you see children and young people trying to learn how to ride them and manage their way through, which is absolutely phenomenal.

Preposition error: use 'popular in my country', not 'on my country'. Plural and pronoun consistency: use 'children' or 'kids' (not both) and 'ride them' to refer to bikes. Remove repeated words and extra filler 'Bikes, Bikes' and 'their their'. Suggestion: simplify the sentence, use 'in my country', plural pronoun 'them', and consistent noun forms.

× But me, I was just always so afraid of it.

✓ But I was always so afraid of them.

Pronoun and reference error: 'me, I' is colloquial and redundant; 'it' is incorrect because bikes are plural in context — use 'them'. Suggestion: use 'I' as the subject and 'them' to refer back to plural 'bikes' for agreement.