Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify and correct sentence structure, make the answer more natural and concise, add a linking phrase and a brief supporting detail. Use correct tense and natural phrasing (e.g., “When I was a child, I had a bike.”). Keep to under five sentences.

例: When I was a child, I had a bicycle that I rode almost every evening. I used it to cycle around the neighborhood and visit my friends, which helped me stay active and improve my balance.

提案: Fix grammar and vocabulary, make the reason clear and specific, use linking words (e.g., “because” and “for example”), and avoid unclear phrases like “lose their pedal bikes” or “it makes us.” Provide one or two concrete reasons and an example. Keep answer under five sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are affordable and practical for short trips. For example, many people who cannot afford a motorbike use pedal bicycles to commute to work or school, and they are also useful for running errands in busy urban areas.

× Go from I was a child.

✓ From when I was a child.

The original is ungrammatical and missing required words to express time. 'Go from I was a child' mixes imperative 'go' with a time clause. Use a proper time expression 'From when I was a child' to indicate the starting point in time. Suggestion: start time clauses with 'From when' or 'When I was' followed by a complete clause.

× I had one bicycle which I used to ride every evening.

✓ I had a bicycle that I used to ride every evening.

'One bicycle' is grammatically acceptable but sounds unnatural in this context; 'a bicycle' is more idiomatic. Also use 'that' for defining relative clauses with objects. No tense change needed. Suggestion: prefer 'a bicycle' and 'that' for defining clauses.

× I can see that bikes are very popular in my country because if someone is not be able to afford a motorbike, they can lose their pedal bikes to go to their works and also it makes us.

✓ I think bikes are very popular in my country because if someone is not able to afford a motorbike, they can use pedal bikes to go to work, and they are also convenient for us.

Multiple errors: 'can see' is natural but 'I think' fits better for opinion. 'Not be able' is incorrect auxiliary form; use 'not able' or 'cannot'. 'Lose their pedal bikes' is wrong meaning; likely intended 'use their pedal bikes'. 'Go to their works' should be 'go to work' (uncountable). The clause 'and also it makes us' is incomplete and unclear; corrected to 'and they are also convenient for us.' Corrections address present participle misuse and overall sentence structure. Suggestion: use 'not able' or 'cannot', use 'use' instead of 'lose', 'go to work', and finish with clear adjective phrase describing benefit.