Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct small grammar mistakes. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., duplicate words) and correct tense/subject-verb agreement. Also vary vocabulary slightly (e.g., “took a while to learn” instead of “not a very fast learner”).

例: Yes, I had a bike as a child. At first I used training wheels because it took me a while to develop my coordination, but after practising for a few weeks I was able to ride without them.

提案: Organise the answer with a clear topic sentence followed by two concise supporting points linked logically. Use specific examples or brief statistics if possible, and avoid vague phrasing like “many times” or “some”. Vary vocabulary (e.g., “affordable transport”, “recreational cycling”, “competitive events”).

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. Firstly, many people use bicycles as an affordable way to commute, especially in busy urban areas; secondly, cycling is also a common recreational activity and there are regular local races and organised bike tours.

× I I remember having to use training wheels because I am not a very fast learner when it comes to my coordination with my muscles.

✓ I remember having to use training wheels because I was not a very fast learner when it came to coordinating my muscles.

Tense inconsistency: the sentence mixes past events ('remember having to use training wheels') with present tense ('I am not a very fast learner', 'when it comes'). For coherence, use past tense to describe childhood ability: 'was not' and 'came'. Also 'coordination with my muscles' is awkward; use 'coordinating my muscles' or 'coordination of my muscles' for natural phrasing. Remove the duplicated 'I'. Suggestion: Keep past tense throughout when describing past experiences and use concise phrasing for coordination.

× But I eventually worked hard and end up being able to ride a bike.

✓ But I eventually worked hard and ended up being able to ride a bike.

Incorrect verb tense and form: 'end up' is present or base form and should match the past narrative. Use the past tense 'ended up' to show a completed action in the past. Also keep 'worked' and 'ended' both in past. Suggestion: When telling past stories, use past tense for sequential events.

× I would say yes because people usually use them as a mode of cheaper transport or some also find enjoyment or spend their leisure time in riding bicycles around the city.

✓ I would say yes because people usually use them as a cheap mode of transport, and some also enjoy riding bicycles around the city in their leisure time.

Awkward article and adjective order: 'mode of cheaper transport' should be 'cheap mode of transport' (adjective before noun). 'Some also find enjoyment or spend their leisure time in riding bicycles' is wordy and uses incorrect preposition; use 'enjoy riding bicycles' and 'in their leisure time' or 'during their leisure time'. Suggestion: Use concise phrasing and correct adjective order: adjective + noun, and prefer 'enjoy riding' over 'find enjoyment in riding'.

× Many times they're either used for sports too.

✓ Often they are also used for sports.

Awkward structure and word order: 'Many times they're either used for sports too' mixes 'either' and 'too' incorrectly and places adverbs awkwardly. Use 'Often' or 'Many times' at the start and avoid 'either' when not presenting two alternatives. Suggestion: Use 'Often they are also used for sports' or 'They are often used for sports, too.'

× There are some bike competitions going around the city.

✓ There are some bicycle competitions held around the city.

Word choice and tense: 'bike competitions going around the city' is informal and unclear. 'Bicycle' is a more formal noun in this context. Use 'held' to indicate events that take place around the city. Suggestion: Use 'held' or 'taking place' and prefer 'bicycle competitions' for clarity.