Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and use correct tense; avoid repetition and fillers. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “I didn't have a bike when I was a child.”), then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words (e.g., “However,” “So,” “Because”) and correct grammar (past tense for childhood). Reduce hesitations and correct self-corrections.

例: I didn't have a bike when I was a child. However, later I had a bicycle that I used to travel from school to home and to my tuition classes, which saved me a lot of time and made commuting easier.

提案: Give a concise opinion and support it with two clear, specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition and hesitations; use present tense and varied vocabulary (e.g., “widely used,” “affordable,” “convenient”). Provide an example or brief comparison to strengthen your point.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are affordable and convenient for short-distance travel. For example, many commuters use scooters or bicycles to avoid traffic, which saves time and allows them to run errands more easily.

× Well, I don't have any kind of bike when I'm was a child, but I have a bicycle through that I can go from my school to college.

✓ Well, I didn't have any kind of bike when I was a child, but I had a bicycle that I used to go from my school to home.

The original mixes present and past tenses incorrectly ('don't have' + 'was a child'). Use simple past for past time reference: 'didn't have' and 'was.' 'I'm was' is ungrammatical; use 'I was.' 'have a bicycle through that I can go' is awkward and tense-inconsistent; changed to 'had a bicycle that I used to go' to show habitual past action. Also 'school to college' contradicted later 'school to home'; consolidated to 'school to home' to match speaker's intent. Suggestion: keep all verbs in past when talking about childhood and use clear relative clauses ('that I used to...').

× Oh sorry, school to home and home to tuition.

✓ Oh sorry, from school to home and from home to tuition.

This fragment lacks prepositions and has inconsistent tense/structure. Use 'from ... to ...' to indicate movement between places. Although it's still describing past habitual action, using simple noun phrase is acceptable; if emphasizing past, use 'I used it to travel from school to home and from home to tuition.' Suggestion: include prepositions for clarity and maintain past tense if within same past narrative.

× Uh, it is very helpful for me because it save my time as well as it.

✓ It was very helpful for me because it saved my time as well.

The sentence refers to a past situation so verbs should be in simple past: 'was' and 'saved' instead of 'is' and 'save.' The phrase 'as well as it' is redundant and ungrammatical; remove it. Suggestion: match tense to the time frame and avoid redundant endings.

× Yes, definitely the bikes are very important in my country because it helped the uh, help the uh people to save their time as well as provide more time to do some work and also help to uh, help also help in travelling.

✓ Yes, definitely bikes are very important in my country because they help people save time, give them more time to do work, and also help with travelling.

Multiple issues: subject-verb agreement and pronoun reference. 'The bikes are' is acceptable but 'it helped' incorrectly uses singular 'it' after plural 'bikes'; use 'they help' (present tense for general truth). The sentence mixes past and present; general statements about popularity should be in present simple. Removed filler hesitations and redundant words. Also 'help in travelling' is better as 'help with travelling.' Suggestion: use consistent present tense for general facts, match plural subjects with plural verbs/pronouns, and remove repetitions.

× So I think.

✓ So I think so.

The original fragment is short but slightly incomplete; native speakers commonly say 'So I think so' to conclude. Alternatively, 'So I think that is true' would be more formal. Suggestion: add 'so' or a clause to complete the thought.