Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct, use correct past tense, avoid filler words and repetition, and give one or two specific supporting details. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add a reason or short example using a linking word (for example, because or so). Keep it to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: No, I didn’t have a bicycle when I was a child. I used to be afraid of falling, so my parents never bought one for me. For example, I remember watching my sister ride around the park while I preferred to walk with her.

提案: Answer directly and use clearer, more natural phrasing. Give a concise reason and one specific detail or example. Use linking words like because or however to connect ideas and avoid repetition and unfinished sentences.

例: Not really. Bicycles are uncommon in my city because the climate is extremely hot for much of the year. For instance, most people prefer cars or taxis, and there are only a few dedicated cycling paths, so cycling isn’t popular.

× When I am a child, I actually, I didn't have a bike, a real bike like bicycle, but I really enjoy, uh, my sisters having a bike now.

✓ When I was a child, I didn't have a real bike like a bicycle, but I really enjoyed my sisters having one.

The sentence mixes present tense 'am' and present 'enjoy' with past context. Use past tense 'was' and 'enjoyed' to match 'When I was a child' and 'I didn't have'. Also adjust phrase order and articles: 'a real bike like a bicycle' is redundant; use 'a real bike' or 'a bicycle'. Replace 'my sisters having a bike now' with 'my sisters having one' and change to past 'enjoyed' if referring to that time. Suggestions: keep consistent past tense for events in childhood and simplify redundancy.

× But when I was a child, I was very scared. Actually, I didn't love.

✓ But when I was a child, I was very scared. Actually, I didn't like it.

The fragment 'I didn't love' is incomplete and uses 'love' which is too strong and uncommon in this context. Use 'didn't like' to express dislike in past tense. Ensure auxiliary 'didn't' + base verb 'like'. Also specify the object 'it' to make the sentence complete. Suggestions: use 'didn't like' for general past dislike and provide the object.

× Actually, no, no, but maybe in another country the the weather is OK, but in Qatar the bikes are minimum, maybe two or three.

✓ Actually, no. Maybe in another country the weather is OK, but in Qatar there are very few bikes, maybe two or three.

The original has repetition 'the the' and awkward phrasing 'the bikes are minimum'. Use 'there are' for existence and plural subject agreement: 'there are very few bikes'. 'Minimum' is incorrect here; use 'very few' or 'only'. Also split into clearer sentences. Suggestions: use 'there are' to state how many exist and avoid literal translations like 'minimum'.

× In my city, you know, because the weather is very hot in the summer. Actually we don't have a.

✓ In my city, the weather is very hot in the summer, so we don't have many bikes.

The original is a sentence fragment 'In my city, you know, because the weather is very hot in the summer.' It's missing a main clause explaining the result. Combine clauses with 'so' to show cause and effect and complete the thought. Replace incomplete 'we don't have a.' with 'we don't have many bikes.' Suggestions: ensure each sentence has a subject and verb and clearly links cause and effect.