Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Reduce hesitations and repeated words. Also correct small grammar issues (e.g., "my uncle taught me on my simplex bike").

例: Yes. I had a bike when I was a child because my older siblings were good at cycling and I wanted to join them. Therefore, my uncle taught me how to ride on my simple second-hand bike, and within a few weeks I could cycle confidently around the neighborhood.

提案: Give a direct answer, then support it with two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid fillers and finish the sentence fully (e.g., mention examples of places or statistics). Use more precise vocabulary (e.g., "cycling" not "into the bike").

例: Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country. For example, many people cycle for leisure in parks, and increasingly others use bicycles for short city commutes because of bike lanes and affordable rental schemes.

× Yes, I had a bike and because my siblings really, uh, were good at it and I wanted to try, umm, to bike with them.

✓ Yes, I had a bike because my siblings were really good at it and I wanted to try biking with them.

The original sentence has unnecessary filler words and an awkward verb construction 'to try, umm, to bike.' Use the gerund 'biking' after 'try' when referring to attempting an activity. Also remove redundant 'and' after 'bike' to make the sentence clearer. Suggestion: Use 'try' + gerund for activities (try biking), and streamline fillers.

× So then my uncle just taught me and uh, my, taught me on the, my simplex bike.

✓ So then my uncle just taught me on my Simplex bike.

The original repeats 'my' and has a broken structure 'and uh, my, taught me.' The subject 'my uncle' matches singular verb 'taught' which is correct, but repetition and misplaced words cause an error in sentence structure. Remove duplicates and unnecessary conjunctions. Also 'Simplex' as a bike model is capitalized if it is a proper noun. Suggestion: Keep subject and verb together and avoid repeating possessive pronouns.

× I think yes, because in my country, umm, people are really into the bike.

✓ I think so, because in my country people are really into cycling.

'Into the bike' is incorrect: 'the' is unnecessary and 'into' typically takes a noun like 'cycling' or 'bicycles.' Also 'I think yes' is awkward; use 'I think so.' Suggestion: Use 'into' + activity noun (into cycling) or 'into bicycles' without 'the'.

× They really want, they really like to uh, cycling at the parks or even in the city and there are some.

✓ They really like cycling in parks or even in the city, and there are many bikes.

Mixes 'like to' with gerund incorrectly ('like to, uh, cycling'). Use either 'like to cycle' or 'like cycling.' 'At the parks' is better as 'in parks.' The clause 'and there are some' is incomplete; specify what 'some' refers to (e.g., many bikes or some cycling lanes). Suggestion: Choose consistent verb patterns (like + gerund or like to + base verb) and complete elliptical phrases.