Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Correct tense and collocation errors (e.g., “worried about me,” “learned instantly” not “learned how to ride the bike instantly”). Use linking words like “but” or “however” to make relationships clear. Aim for 3–4 sentences total.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My mother taught me how to ride it and she was worried about me at first because I might fall. However, I picked it up very quickly and could ride confidently within a few minutes.

提案: Give a direct answer, then support it with specific, relevant details. Avoid vague phrases and unclear references (e.g., “related words or Lang or lyrics”). Use linking words like “because” or “for example” to explain your view. Keep sentences grammatically correct and coherent, maximum 4 sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially in cities where they are used for short commutes. For example, many people use bicycles or electric bikes to travel to work or the market because they are cheap and convenient. However, car ownership is rising, so bike use is more common among students and lower-cost commuters.

× She was a little bit worried of me at first because I it could be very dangerous, I could fall or whatever, but somehow I don't know it.

✓ She was a little bit worried about me at first because she thought it could be very dangerous; I could fall or whatever, but somehow I don't know why.

Use 'worried about' not 'worried of' (preposition error). Remove the extra pronoun 'it' and clarify clause: 'she thought it could be very dangerous' expresses her concern. 'I don't know it' is incorrect; use 'I don't know why' to indicate uncertainty. Also split into clearer clauses and keep past perspective for mother's worry and present for current uncertainty.

× I don't know if I had got the talent or something.

✓ I don't know if I had gotten the talent or something.

In standard English, the past participle of 'get' is 'gotten' (US) or 'got' (UK). Here the construction 'had got' is awkward; use 'had gotten' for clarity in American English or 'had got' only in some British contexts. The meaning is past perfect; keep tense consistent: 'I don't know if I had gotten the talent' or better 'I don't know if I had the talent.'

× I just learned how to ride the bike instantly.

✓ I just learned how to ride a bike almost instantly.

'The bike' is specific article error/context; 'a bike' is more natural when not referring to a particular bicycle. 'Instantly' may be better preceded by 'almost' to indicate quick learning; this improves sentence flow and meaning. This fixes article choice and improves clarity.

× I believe that this is kind of one of these stereotypes that the Europeans or the western media have over in over China or the East Asia.

✓ I believe that this is one of those stereotypes that Europeans or Western media have about China or East Asia.

Use 'one of those' instead of 'one of these' for general reference, and 'have about' or 'hold about' rather than 'have over in over.' Capitalize 'Western' as a proper adjective. Use 'China or East Asia' without 'the' before 'East Asia.' Remove redundant words for clarity.

× I often see some relatable related words or Lang or lyrics from some TV series.

✓ I often see relatable words or lyrics from TV series.

'Relatable related' is redundant; choose 'relatable.' Remove 'some' before 'TV series' and 'Lang' (unclear) — if 'Lang' intended as 'language' it should be 'language,' but context suggests 'lyrics.' Simplify to 'words or lyrics from TV series.' This addresses adjective redundancy and unclear word choice.