Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and reduce hesitation. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words (uh, umm) and unnecessary repetition (e.g., "in my life" after "never").

例: No, I didn’t have a bike as a child. My parents thought it was unsafe, so I only rode my friends’ bicycles on weekends. Because most of my friends had bikes, I learned to ride early, but I never owned one myself.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, then support it with one or two specific reasons and a brief example. Reduce hesitations and use linking words (for example, because, therefore). Use more precise vocabulary (young people, cannot afford).

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. Many young people prefer motorcycles because they are cheaper and easier to park. For example, students and office workers often commute by bike to save time and money.

× No, I never had one in my life.

✓ No, I never had one when I was a child.

The original sentence uses 'in my life' which is odd when answering whether one had a bike as a child. The question asks about childhood, so using a past time reference 'when I was a child' is clearer and fits the past-tense context. Suggestion: match time expressions to the question (use 'when I was a child').

× I was fond of riding bike, but my parents never allowed me to have one.

✓ I was fond of riding bikes, but my parents never allowed me to have one.

'Riding bike' is missing the plural noun or an article. Use 'riding bikes' or 'riding a bike'. Also 'allowed me to have one' is acceptable. Suggestion: use correct noun form after 'riding' ('a bike' or plural 'bikes').

× Umm, In fact, most of my friends, uh, had their bikes and bicycles in uh, childhood.

✓ Umm, in fact, most of my friends had bikes and bicycles in their childhood.

Capitalization of 'In' is unnecessary; more importantly, the placement of 'in childhood' is unnatural in English. Use 'in their childhood' to indicate possession of the time period. Also 'had their bikes and bicycles' is redundant; simply 'had bikes' is sufficient. Suggestion: use 'in their childhood' or 'when they were children' and avoid redundancy.

× Uh, I used to ride sometimes their bikes.

✓ I used to ride their bikes sometimes.

Word order is incorrect. The adverb 'sometimes' should be placed after the verb phrase or at the end of the clause: 'used to ride their bikes sometimes' or 'sometimes used to ride their bikes'. Suggestion: place frequency adverbs in typical positions (before main verb for present simple, after auxiliary for past habitual 'used to').

× Uh, yes, uh, nowadays bikes are very common in our country.

✓ Yes, nowadays bikes are very common in our country.

The original is mostly correct; removed filler 'uh' and extra comma. 'Nowadays' requires present tense which is used correctly. Suggestion: avoid filler words to make sentences clearer.

× Uh, most of the youngsters, uh, ride bike, uh, instead of cars.

✓ Most youngsters ride bikes instead of cars.

'Ride bike' needs plural or article: 'ride bikes' or 'ride a bike'. Also 'most of the youngsters' is wordy; 'most youngsters' is idiomatic. Suggestion: use correct noun form and concise phrasing.

× Uh, as most of the people in our country are umm, middle class or they belong to lower middle class families, so they can't afford the cars, instead they use bikes.

✓ As most people in our country are middle class or belong to lower-middle-class families, they can't afford cars, so they use bikes.

Several issues: 'most of the people' → 'most people' is more natural; redundant 'are ... or they belong to' can be simplified; 'the cars' should be 'cars' without the definite article when speaking generally; placement of 'so' is adjusted for flow. Also hyphenate 'lower-middle-class' when used as a compound adjective. Suggestion: simplify structure, remove unnecessary articles, and join clauses clearly ('so' to show result).