Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and clear: start with a simple topic sentence stating whether you had a bike, then give one concise reason with specific detail. Avoid fillers (uh, um) and repetition. Keep it to 1–3 sentences and use correct grammar (e.g. past tense and a clear noun phrase for ‘my mum’).

例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. My mother thought it was unsafe, so she preferred that I walk or use public transport to get to school.

提案: Give a clear opinion first, then support it with one or two specific reasons using linking words (for example, because, so, therefore). Reduce hesitations and correct vocabulary (say ‘bicycles’ or ‘bikes’). Keep sentences short and coherent and use plural/singular correctly.

例: Yes, bicycles are becoming more popular in my country because many people use them for short trips and to avoid traffic. For example, commuters often ride bikes to a nearby bus or train station and then switch to public transport for the rest of their journey.

× Honestly, I was a child, uh, I don't have a bike, uh, because my, because my mum, uh, was a weird uh, to me.

✓ Honestly, when I was a child, I didn't have a bike because my mum was strict with me.

Issues identified: present vs past tense and sentence structure. The speaker refers to childhood (past), so verbs should be in the past tense: 'I didn't have' not 'I don't have'. 'I was a child' should be connected with 'when' for clarity: 'When I was a child'. 'Was a weird to me' is ungrammatical; likely intended meaning is 'was strict with me' or 'was strict about it'. Suggestion: use consistent past tense for events in childhood, replace unclear adjective phrase with a appropriate adjective and preposition (for example, 'strict with me' or 'against it'). Use a single clear clause rather than repeating 'because my, because my'.

× And nowadays, uh, bikel is popular in my country, especially when you're someone wants to, to go through, uh, he or she take a bike, then when you arrived, uh, change, umm, transport public.

✓ Nowadays, bikes are popular in my country, especially when someone wants to travel; they take a bike and then, when they arrive, change to public transport.

Multiple problems: noun number, subject-verb agreement, pronoun use, and sentence structure. 'bikel' is misspelled and should be 'bikes' (plural) with plural verb 'are'. 'You're someone wants to' is incorrect; use 'someone wants to' (no 'you're'). Use neutral singular 'someone' with corresponding pronoun 'they' for clarity: 'someone... they'. 'To go through' is awkward; 'to travel' or 'to go somewhere' fits better. 'He or she take a bike' has third-person singular agreement error; should be 'they take a bike' or 'he or she takes a bike'. 'When you arrived' should match tense and person: 'when they arrive' or 'when they arrive, they change to public transport'. Overall suggestion: use plural 'bikes are', simplify subject to 'someone' and match verbs to correct number and tense, and replace 'transport public' with 'public transport'.