Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and consistent. Start with a clear topic sentence that answers the question, avoid hesitation sounds (uh) and conflicting verbs (didn't have vs prefer), and give one or two specific details about alternatives (e.g., walking, public transport) using linking words. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. Instead, I usually walked or took the bus to go outside, so I didn't learn to ride until I was older.

提案: Answer directly and use clearer vocabulary and linking words. Remove filler words, say who you mean by “this generation,” and give a specific reason or example (e.g., commuting, cost, traffic). Use 2–3 concise sentences and accurate collocations (e.g., "short trips" or "daily commute").

例: Yes, bikes are popular among young people in my country because they are cheap and convenient. For example, many students use bicycles to travel short distances to school and shops, which helps them avoid traffic and save money.

× No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. Uh, I usually prefer going outside with my cycle.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. I usually prefer going outside on my bicycle.

The clause 'I usually prefer going outside with my cycle' has two problems: choice of preposition and word choice. 'Prefer' expresses a habitual present preference, so present tense is fine, but 'with my cycle' is unnatural; use 'on my bicycle' or 'by bicycle'. Also remove filler 'Uh' for clarity. Suggest using 'I usually prefer going outside on my bicycle' or 'I usually prefer going out by bicycle.'

× Uh, yes, according to this generation, uh, bikes are more popular in my country because, uh, it helps us to go to daily travel nearby in quick, uh, QuickTime.

✓ Yes, among this generation, bikes are popular in my country because they help us travel short distances quickly.

Multiple issues: 'according to this generation' is awkward; use 'among this generation'. 'Bikes are more popular' is vague without comparison; 'popular' alone is acceptable. Pronoun-verb agreement: 'it helps us' wrongly refers to 'bikes' (plural), so use plural pronoun 'they'. 'to go to daily travel nearby in quick QuickTime' is grammatically incorrect and wordy; correct phrasing is 'help us travel short distances quickly.' Remove filler 'Uh' and redundant 'QuickTime.'