Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct, use past tense consistently, and give one or two clear supporting details. Avoid unnecessary repetition and unclear phrasing. Start with a topic sentence (Yes/No + brief statement), then add specifics (whose bike, how you used it, memories). Use linking words like “but” or “however” correctly.

例: Yes, I had a big bike when I was a child. It actually belonged to my brother Kim, but he often let me borrow it, so I used it to ride to school and play with friends on weekends.

提案: Give a clear opinion in one sentence and then support it with specific reasons or examples. Avoid repeating phrases and asking rhetorical comments back to the examiner. Use linking words like “because”, “for example” or “therefore” to connect ideas.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because many people use them for short trips and exercise. For example, in cities you can see bike lanes and public bike-sharing schemes that many commuters use.

× Yes, I have a big bike, but this bike was my brother, so I asked my brother Kim.

✓ Yes, I had a big bike, but that bike belonged to my brother, Kim, so I asked him.

This sentence mixes present and past tenses and uses awkward phrasing. The question asks about childhood (past), so use past tense 'had' not 'have' (Present tense issue - ID 6). 'Was my brother' is incorrect; the bike cannot be a person; use the possessive past 'belonged to my brother' (incorrect use of pronouns/word choice - ID 12). 'Asked my brother Kim' is acceptable but clearer as 'asked him' after naming Kim. Suggestion: maintain consistent past tense and use correct possessive structure; replace 'have' with 'had' and 'was my brother' with 'belonged to my brother'.

× Oh yes, in my opinion. But you seem you seem bike is popular in my country.

✓ Oh yes, in my opinion, bikes are popular in my country.

The original has repetition 'you seem you seem' (sentence structure error - ID 26) and wrong word order 'you seem bike is popular' which incorrectly mixes a reporting clause and statement (incorrect conjunction/structure - ID 16). Also it uses singular 'bike' when speaking generally (singular/plural issue - ID 1). The corrected version removes the redundant phrase, uses a clear opinion clause, and uses plural 'bikes' for general statement about popularity. Suggestion: avoid repeating phrases, choose either 'I think'/'In my opinion' or 'It seems' constructions, and use plural when speaking about things in general.