Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce hesitation and make the answer slightly more informative and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using a linking word. Avoid filler words like "umm."

例: Yes — I had a red mountain bike as a child. My father bought it for my birthday, and I used it mainly to ride to school because it was sturdy on rough roads.

提案: Be more concise and use linking words to connect reasons. Replace hesitations and vague phrases with clearer vocabulary (e.g., "more practical" instead of "more preferable"). Add a specific example or brief comparison to strengthen the answer.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because many roads and alleys are narrow, so bicycles are more practical than cars. For example, people often use bikes to run short errands in crowded neighborhoods.

× My father bought the bike for me as a birthday gift and umm as a means of transport for me to get to school.

✓ My father bought the bike for me as a birthday gift and as a means of transport for getting to school.

The original uses 'to get to school' after 'means of transport', which is unnatural. After 'means of' a gerund (verb+-ing) is preferred: 'means of transport for getting to school.' This fixes parallelism and collocation. Suggestion: use gerund forms after phrases like 'means of' or restructure to 'to get me to school.'

× So instead of big cars and motorbikes, I think bikes are more preferable.

✓ So instead of big cars and motorbikes, I think bikes are preferable.

'More preferable' is redundant because 'preferable' already expresses comparative meaning. Use either 'more popular' or 'preferable.' Here 'preferable' is correct. Alternatively 'more popular' could be used if meaning popularity rather than preference is intended.