Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Correct factual and grammatical errors, speak clearly, and keep answer concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then add one or two specific supporting details (age, why it mattered, a short memory). Avoid unrelated fragments (e.g. “My mom”) and incorrect words (“killed” → “a kid” or “a child”). Limit to up to 3–4 short sentences and use simple linking words like “and” or “because.”

例: Yes. When I was a child I had a small bicycle, though it was really a toy rather than a proper bike. I used it in our backyard almost every day because it made me feel independent, and I remember my mother teaching me how to balance on it.

提案: Make the answer more grammatical, specific and organized. Begin with a direct opinion sentence, then give two specific reasons with brief examples or comparisons. Use correct verb forms and plural agreement (e.g. “kids love” not “kids loves”), and avoid filler phrases like “you know” and trailing thoughts. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and use linking words such as “because” and “for example.”

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because many parents buy them for their children as a first outdoor toy. For example, most neighborhoods have children riding in the evenings, and some families also use bicycles for short trips to the market.

× Yes, when I was killed I had a small bike, but it was not bike actually, it was a toy. So I really missed that toy. My mom.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I had a small bike, but it wasn't really a bike; it was a toy, and I really missed that toy and my mom.

The student used 'killed' instead of 'a child' which is clearly incorrect word choice rather than grammar; this is a sentence structure and word choice error but it affects past-tense meaning. Replace 'killed' with 'a child' to convey intended meaning. Also combine fragments into a complete sentence and use past tense contractions and punctuation for clarity. Suggestion: use 'when I was a child' and join fragments into one coherent past-tense sentence.'

× I would say yes because when we were kid we are often given by given bikes by parents.

✓ I would say yes because when we were kids we were often given bikes by our parents.

Errors: 'kid' should be plural 'kids' to match 'we' (singular/plural issue). 'are often given by given' is ungrammatical duplication and wrong tense; use past tense 'were often given'. Add possessive 'our' before 'parents'. Suggestion: use 'when we were kids we were often given bikes by our parents.'

× Also, kids loves to drive.

✓ Also, kids love to ride bikes.

Subject-verb agreement and verb choice: 'kids' (plural) requires 'love' not 'loves' (third-person singular). Additionally, 'drive' is not the usual verb for bicycles; use 'ride'. Suggestion: use 'kids love to ride bikes.'

× Kids love to play with bikes and drive.

✓ Kids love to play with bikes and ride them.

Again, 'drive' is incorrect for bicycles; use 'ride' and include an object pronoun 'them' for clarity. Maintain parallel structure: 'play with bikes and ride them.'

× And you know what the worst thing is like sometimes? Umm.

✓ And you know what the worst thing is sometimes?

The filler 'like' is unnecessary and makes the sentence ungrammatical. Remove 'like' and the hesitation marker 'Umm' in formal responses. Suggestion: 'And you know what the worst thing is sometimes?'