Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct, use past tense consistently, avoid fillers (uh, yeah), and give one or two specific supporting details. Keep it within 3–4 clear sentences. Use linking words like 'so' or 'because' to connect reasons.

例: I didn't have my own bike as a child. Instead, I often borrowed bicycles from my friends or my uncle because my family couldn't afford to buy one. As a result, I learned to be careful and share when I used other people's bikes.

提案: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, and more specific reasons. Replace unclear phrases and add one concrete example or comparison. Use linking words like 'because', 'for example', or 'also'.

例: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in the Philippines because many towns are compact and the climate is suitable for outdoor activities. For example, people often cycle along coastal roads for leisure, and cycling is a common, affordable way to exercise and commute in smaller communities.

× I actually don't have a bike, but when I was a child I just, uh, have to borrow it from my friends and from my uncle and yeah.

✓ I actually didn't have a bike, but when I was a child I just had to borrow one from my friends and my uncle.

The sentence mixes present tense ('don't have') with a past-time context ('when I was a child'). Use past tense consistently: 'didn't have' and 'had to borrow'. Also replace 'it' with 'one' to refer to 'a bike' and remove filler words. Suggestion: keep verb tenses consistent and use pronouns that clearly refer to the noun.

× And since we are poor and we cannot afford to buy a bike.

✓ We were poor and couldn't afford to buy a bike.

This clause refers to past circumstances, so present tense 'are' and 'cannot' are incorrect. Use past tense 'were' and 'couldn't' (past of 'cannot') to match 'when I was a child'. Also avoid starting a sentence with 'And' in formal responses; combine with previous sentence or make it a complete sentence.

× Bikes are popular in my country which is the Philippines since we get to buy something no like near us and then we live near the beach.

✓ Bikes are popular in my country, the Philippines, because many people live near the beach and can ride them to nearby places.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear ('we get to buy something no like near us' is not meaningful). This is a sentence structure/word choice problem. Rephrase to express the intended idea: explain reasons clearly and use conjunctions like 'because' for cause. Use commas to set off 'the Philippines' as an appositive.

× So biking is really a good form of exercise and a leisure.

✓ So biking is really a good form of exercise and a leisure activity.

'Leisure' is a noun that needs a modifier here; use 'a leisure activity' to denote a pastime. This fixes word choice and grammatical completeness. Also ensure parallel structure: 'a good form of exercise and a leisure activity.'