Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatically correct, concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence (past tense), then give one or two specific supporting details linked with connectors. Avoid fillers (uh) and repetition. Also correct verb tense and pronouns (e.g., “I had a purple bike” not “I have”), and explain why it felt awkward with a brief reason or feeling.

例: I had a purple bike when I was a child. At the time I felt a bit embarrassed because most boys in my neighbourhood rode darker-coloured bikes, so my bike made me stand out. Over time I grew to like it because it was comfortable and easy to ride.

提案: Answer directly and use clear reasons with linking words. Begin with a short direct statement (Yes/No + brief reason), then support it with one or two specific points (infrastructure, culture, statistics). Avoid repetition and fillers; use correct noun phrases (e.g., “bike lanes” or “bicycle infrastructure”) and countable/uncountable distinctions (“many bikes” not “that much bike”).

例: I don't think bicycles are very popular in my country. One reason is that we lack safe bike lanes in most cities, so cycling can feel dangerous; additionally, many people prefer cars for long commutes, which limits the number of cyclists.

× Yes, I have a bike in a purple color.

✓ Yes, I had a purple bike.

The question asks about the past ('when you were a child'), so the verb should be past tense (had) not present (have). 'In a purple color' is wordy and unidiomatic; use the adjective 'purple' before 'bike'. Suggest practicing matching tense to time references and using adjectives directly before nouns.

× It was, of course it was awkward.

✓ Of course it was awkward.

This sentence repeats the verb 'was' unnecessarily. Remove the redundant phrase to make it concise: 'Of course it was awkward.' Also ensure intonation rather than repetition conveys emphasis.

× We it was awkward with uh purple bike, uh, as a boy, so it was really embarrassing.

✓ It was awkward for me to have a purple bike as a boy, so it was really embarrassing.

The original has extra pronouns and broken structure ('We it was awkward') that make it ungrammatical. Use a clear subject 'It' and a proper prepositional phrase 'for me' to indicate who experienced the awkwardness. Also include the article 'a' before 'purple bike'. Practice forming simple subject-verb-object or subject-experiencer constructions.

× That's the.

✓ That's all.

'That's the.' is an incomplete fragment. If the speaker means to end the comment, use 'That's all.' or complete the thought (e.g., 'That's the end of it.'). Ensure sentences have a clear idea and finish.

× No, it is not uh, we don't have any enough, uh, enough, enough, enough, enough, routes for the bike due to the reason we do not have uh that much bike.

✓ No, they are not very popular; we don't have enough bike lanes because not many people ride bikes.

Multiple issues: 'it is not' is vague for plural 'bikes' or 'biking' popularity—use 'they are not' or rephrase. 'Any enough' is ungrammatical; use 'enough' alone. 'Routes for the bike' is awkward; use 'bike lanes' or 'cycling routes'. 'Due to the reason' is redundant; use 'because'. 'That much bike' is ungrammatical—use 'many people ride bikes' or 'many bikes'. Combine into a clear sentence matching plural subjects and correct articles. Practice simplifying ideas into clear clauses and using correct quantifiers (enough, many).