Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and directly answer the question first, then give one or two clear supporting details. Avoid filler words (um, uh) and incomplete endings. Use linking words to connect ideas (because, so, although). Also correct minor grammar (e.g., "I didn't have one" instead of "I didn't have").

例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. I preferred staying at home because I was quite introverted, so my parents didn't buy me one. As a result, I spent more time reading and playing indoors rather than riding outside.

提案: Start with a direct short answer, then give specific reasons and one brief example. Reduce repetition and filler words, and use linking phrases (because, therefore, for example). Include a specific detail such as types of bikes or common routes to add concreteness.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in Vietnam because streets are often crowded and parking is limited. For example, many people use motorbikes and bicycles to commute short distances in cities, which is faster and cheaper than driving a car.

× No, not at all. Umm, contrary to most children, I didn't have a bike when I was a kid. The simple reason behind that is because I was a big introvert and a homebody when I was young and I didn't have.

✓ No, not at all. Umm, contrary to most children, I didn't have a bike when I was a kid. The simple reason is that I was a big introvert and a homebody when I was young, so I didn't have one.

The original contains a redundancy and incomplete clause: 'The simple reason behind that is because' is redundant (use 'is that' or 'is because', not both) and the sentence ends with 'and I didn't have' lacking an object. Also 'didn't have one' clearly refers to a bike. Improve by using 'The simple reason is that' and completing the thought with 'so I didn't have one.' This fixes sentence structure and clarity.

× Yeah, definitely. So my home country is Vietnam, which is a small and uh, which is a small country and has limited space. So bikes are a convenient way to travel and commute around.

✓ Yeah, definitely. My home country is Vietnam, which is a small country and has limited space, so bikes are a convenient way to travel and commute.

The original repeats 'which is a small' and has awkward phrasing 'travel and commute around.' Remove the repetition and combine the clauses using a comma and 'so' to show cause and effect. 'Commute' already implies travelling regularly, so 'commute' alone is sufficient. This corrects redundancy and improves sentence flow.