Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and clear: start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar (tense and word choice) and avoid repetition. For example, say you didn’t own a bike, mention when and whose bike you used, and add a brief reason or feeling.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. However, I often rode my friend’s bike at weekends, usually around my neighborhood, which helped me learn how to cycle and enjoy being outdoors.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, then support it with specific reasons and use linking words. Improve vocabulary and grammar (use "popular" and explain groups and reasons). Combine short fragments into coherent sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country, especially among young people and students. In addition, many adults use them for short commutes because traffic is heavy and cycling is faster and cheaper, so bicycles are a common sight in cities.

× No, I never had a back corner was a child but I used to ride a friend's bike during weekends from home so myself I never had one but I I knew how to use it.

✓ No, I never had one as a child, but I used to ride a friend's bike on weekends, so although I never owned a bike, I knew how to use one.

The original sentence has multiple sentence structure problems: incorrect phrase 'back corner was a child' appears to be a mistaken transcription; repetition 'myself I never had one' and 'but I I' create redundancy; preposition usage 'during weekends from home' is awkward. Fix by: replacing the unclear phrase with 'as a child', using 'on weekends' for time expression, combining ideas into two clear clauses with correct conjunctions and removing repetition. This improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× Yes, bikes are applied in my country, especially among the youth, school, growing age and also some useful at work committing.

✓ Yes, bikes are common in my country, especially among young people, students, and other working-age groups; they are also useful for commuting to work.

The original uses 'applied' incorrectly (wrong verb) and awkward noun phrases 'school, growing age' and 'work committing'. Use the adjective 'common' for popularity, 'young people' or 'students' for groups, and the gerund 'commuting' for the action of traveling to work. Rearranging into a clearer list and using 'useful for commuting' corrects word choice and improves meaning.

× Cause of traffic. So it's very common in my country.

✓ Because of traffic congestion, cycling is very common in my country.

'Cause of traffic' is a fragment and not a full sentence. Combine the idea into one complete sentence using 'Because of' or 'Due to' plus a clear subject ('cycling' or 'bikes') and object 'is very common'. This corrects the sentence fragment and clarifies the causal relationship.