Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more coherent: start with a direct topic sentence, avoid filler words, correct grammatical errors, and give one or two specific supporting details linked logically. Use past tense consistently and replace vague phrases with concrete descriptions.

例: Yes, I had a bicycle when I was a child. I often rode it around my apartment building to visit friends and play, but I also remember falling off it when I was seven and breaking my elbow, which made me more cautious for a while.

提案: Organize your answer with a clear main idea and specific supporting points. Use accurate grammar (e.g. 'very popular', 'almost every child', 'still is popular today') and add examples or reasons (environmental benefits, cost, traffic) using linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, bicycles are very popular in my country. Almost every child had one when I was young, and many adults still use bikes today because they are cheap, convenient for short trips, and better for the environment.

× Yeah, I used to have a, uh, bike when I was little.

✓ Yeah, I used to have a bike when I was little.

Remove the filler comma and extra 'uh' for clarity; no major grammatical error besides disfluency. Keep past habitual 'used to' to match childhood context.

× I like, I like to buy kids when in around to see my around my building,

✓ I used to ride my bike around my building when I was a kid,

Original sentence is ungrammatical and confused. Replace present 'I like' with past habitual 'I used to' to match 'when I was little', use 'ride my bike around my building' for intended meaning, and 'when I was a kid' for time reference.

× but I don't, uh, I don't have all good memories with my bike because I fall from it parts in when I was seven.

✓ but I don't have all good memories with my bike because I fell off it when I was seven.

Use past simple 'fell' (not present 'fall') for a past event; use the correct preposition 'off' with 'fell' and remove extraneous words 'parts in'. Maintain 'I don't have' for current state.

× It was a big memory.

✓ It was a big incident/memory for me.

'Big memory' is awkward; use 'big incident' or 'a memorable event' for natural phrasing. Add 'for me' to clarify perspective.

× Actually, I think bikes are very popular in my country all over the time.

✓ Actually, I think bikes are very popular in my country all the time.

Use idiomatic phrase 'all the time' (not 'all over the time'). Present simple 'are' is correct for general truth.

× It is the most child every.

✓ They are most popular among children.

Original is ungrammatical. Use plural 'they' to refer to bikes and 'most popular among children' to express the idea.

× Every child used to have a bicycle when I was little and it still continues nowadays.

✓ Every child used to have a bicycle when I was little, and that trend continues nowadays.

Keep 'used to' for past habit; link to present with 'that trend continues' rather than mixing 'used to' directly with 'still continues'. Combine clauses with a comma and conjunction.

× And besides a childhood tool, it is also a good transportation vehicle.

✓ Besides being a childhood pastime, it is also a good means of transportation.

'Besides a childhood tool' is awkward; use 'besides being a childhood pastime' or 'Besides being used in childhood'. Use 'means of transportation' rather than 'transportation vehicle' for natural English.