Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce repetitions, organize into a clear topic sentence and one or two supporting details, and correct minor grammar (e.g. "I used to have a big bike"; avoid repeating words). Use linking words to show cause (e.g. "because") and keep the answer to under five sentences. Also correct verb forms ("I didn't know how to ride").

例: Yes. I used to have a big bike when I was a child. However, I often got hurt because I hadn’t learned how to ride properly, so I fell several times while practicing. Despite that, I enjoyed riding it around my neighborhood.

提案: Make the answer more concise and structured: start with a clear opinion, then give one specific reason and an example. Remove fillers ("umm", "uh") and finish the sentence. Use linking words ("because", "for example") correctly. Provide a complete final clause explaining why people choose bikes.

例: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in my country because traffic congestion in big cities is severe. For example, many commuters choose bicycles to avoid long delays on the road and to save on transport costs.

× Yes, I yes, used to have a bike when I was a child and it was a big bike bike and I used to get hurt a lot, hurt a lot because I didn't know how to ride a bike when I pushed ride a bike.

✓ Yes, I used to have a bike when I was a child. It was a big bike, and I used to get hurt a lot because I didn't know how to ride it well.

This sentence has repetition and sentence structure problems (Grammar Problem Type ID:26). The speaker repeats words ('yes', 'bike', 'hurt a lot') and has an unclear fragment 'when I pushed ride a bike'. Break into two clear sentences, remove repeated words, and replace the unclear phrase with 'didn't know how to ride it well'. Also replace the redundant noun 'a bike' with the pronoun 'it' to avoid repetition and ensure cohesion.

× Yeah, personally I think bikes are popular in my country, umm, and nowadays the traffic is the major problem of the big cities in my uh, for example, in my country, the traffic is a daily problem in people's life, so they ride a bike to.

✓ Yeah, personally I think bikes are popular in my country. Nowadays traffic is a major problem in big cities; for example, in my country traffic is a daily problem in people's lives, so they ride bikes.

There are several issues here: preposition and article misuse and plural/singular agreement (primary IDs 11 and 1). 'The traffic is the major problem of the big cities in my' is awkward; use 'traffic is a major problem in big cities'. 'People's life' should be plural 'people's lives'. The final phrase 'so they ride a bike to' is incomplete and incorrectly uses singular 'a bike'; use 'so they ride bikes' to indicate the general habit. I combined clauses into clearer sentences and fixed plurality and preposition usage.