Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, clarity and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g. yes/no), use past simple for past events, remove redundancy, and add one or two brief supporting details using linking words. For example, say when you got the bike, who gave it, and a short detail about learning to ride. Avoid vague phrases like "told talk."

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My grandmother gave it to me as a birthday present when I was seven, and at first I couldn't ride it. Fortunately, my father taught me how to ride in the park over a few weekends, so I became confident quickly.

提案: Make your response more organized and precise. Begin with a clear opinion, then give two specific reasons or examples using linking words (for example, because, moreover). Use correct phrasing for policies and services and avoid unclear endings. Be concise and natural (max 4–5 sentences).

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. For example, many people commute by bicycle in cities, and the government offers free bike rentals for the first 30 minutes to encourage cycling. Moreover, bike lanes and public campaigns have made cycling safer and more convenient.

× I've had a bike when I was a child and my grandma gave me this bike as a birthday present.

✓ I had a bike when I was a child; my grandma gave it to me as a birthday present.

The sentence mixes present perfect ('I've had') with a past time expression ('when I was a child'), which is incorrect. Use the simple past ('I had') for completed past situations tied to a specific past time. Also use the correct object pronoun and word order ('gave it to me'). Suggestion: use simple past for past events with time references and place the indirect object after 'gave' or use 'gave me' correctly as 'gave it to me.'

× By the time I didn't know how to ride a bike, so my father told talk.

✓ At first I didn't know how to ride a bike, so my father taught me.

'By the time' is misused here; it usually introduces a clause with a specific point in time. 'At first' or 'When I was learning' fits the intended meaning. 'Told talk' is ungrammatical — the correct verb is 'taught' to indicate instruction, and 'taught me' completes the idea. Suggestion: use appropriate time expressions and the verb 'teach' (past 'taught') when describing learning from someone.

× Of course I can see many people riding bikes on the road and we can rent bikes for free in 30 minutes.

✓ Of course I see many people riding bikes on the road, and we can rent bikes for free for 30 minutes.

'I can see' is grammatical but unnecessary; simple present 'I see' is more natural for habitual facts. More importantly, the phrase 'in 30 minutes' is unclear; use 'for 30 minutes' to indicate the rental duration. Suggestion: use simple present for habitual observations and correct preposition 'for' to indicate duration.

× It is a policy by our government, however riding bikes may be done.

✓ It is a government policy; however, riding bikes may be restricted in some areas.

The original is vague and ungrammatical: 'policy by our government' is better as 'government policy.' 'However riding bikes may be done' is awkward and unclear — 'may be done' is not natural English here. If the intent is to say riding is permitted, say 'riding bikes is allowed'; if the intent is restriction, say 'may be restricted.' Suggestion: choose clear verbs like 'is allowed' or 'is restricted' and use punctuation ('; however,') to link contrasting ideas.