Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cần nói rõ và mạch lạc hơn: tránh lặp từ, sửa lỗi ngữ pháp cơ bản, dùng câu chủ đề rõ ràng và cung cấp chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ khi nào bạn bắt đầu có xe đạp, ai cho bạn, cảm giác của bạn). Dùng liên từ để nối ý (for example, therefore, so). Giữ độ dài không quá 5 câu và dùng từ vựng chính xác (ví dụ: "afford" thay vì "well", "bought" thay vì "botched").

例: I didn't have a bike when I was very young because my family couldn't afford one. However, when I started secondary school my mother bought me a second-hand bike so I could ride to school. Riding every day gave me more independence and saved time on my commute.

提案: Cần sửa ngữ pháp và cấu trúc câu, tránh lặp từ và hoàn thành ý chưa nói xong. Thêm ví dụ cụ thể và số liệu nếu có (ví dụ: "many students and office workers commute 5–10 km by bike"). Sử dụng liên từ để làm rõ lý do (e.g., "because", "for example", "therefore") và dùng từ đúng (ví dụ: "office workers" chứ không phải "student in office workers").

例: From my perspective, cycling has become more common in my country because it is both good exercise and a practical way to avoid traffic. For example, many students and office workers ride bikes for short commutes of around five to ten kilometers. As a result, cycling is increasingly seen as an efficient and healthy transport option.

× Actually, when I was a child, I didn't have a bike because my family wasn't very well at that very well.

✓ Actually, when I was a child, I didn't have a bike because my family wasn't very well off at that time.

The phrase 'very well' is an adjective/adverb misuse here; the correct adjective phrase is 'well off' meaning wealthy. 'At that very well' is ungrammatical and should be 'at that time.' Suggestion: use the adjective phrase 'well off' for financial condition and 'at that time' to refer to that period.

× Uh, well stay at that time.

✓ Uh, well, I stayed like that at the time.

Original is a fragment and unclear. To keep meaning, change to a complete clause: 'I stayed like that at the time' or better omit if unnecessary. Suggestion: form a full subject-verb structure to express past state.

× Uh, but when I started secondary school, my mom botched me once so that I cycle every day to school and it made me more freedom.

✓ Uh, but when I started secondary school, my mom bought me one so that I could cycle to school every day, and it gave me more freedom.

Multiple issues: 'botched' is wrong word choice; correct verb is 'bought' (past tense). 'Cycle' should be base form with modal/infinitive: 'could cycle' to indicate ability/possibility. 'Made me more freedom' is ungrammatical; use 'gave me more freedom.' Suggestion: use correct verbs and structures: 'bought me one' (past), 'could cycle' (ability), 'gave me more freedom' (result).

× Well, from my perspective, riding a bike is more is becoming more common in my country because many people see cycling as good exercise and a convenient way to avoid traffic.

✓ Well, from my perspective, riding a bike is becoming more common in my country because many people see cycling as good exercise and a convenient way to avoid traffic.

There is a redundant 'is more is' phrase. Remove extra words to maintain present continuous sense ('is becoming'). Suggestion: use 'is becoming more common' to describe ongoing change.

× Umm and For example, student in office workers often ride bike early in the morning for short commutes and some people also choose cycling because it's.

✓ For example, students and office workers often ride bikes early in the morning for short commutes, and some people also choose cycling because it's convenient.

Several number errors: 'student' should be plural 'students'; 'office workers' is fine but needs conjunction 'and'; 'ride bike' should be 'ride bikes' or 'ride a bike'; sentence was incomplete ending with 'because it's.' Added 'convenient' to complete meaning. Suggestion: ensure subject and noun forms match plurality and finish clauses with clear reasons.