Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a direct topic sentence, avoid filler words (like, umm, I guess), and correct small grammar issues. Use one clear topic sentence then add 1–2 specific supporting details connected with linking words (for example, “because” or “so”). Also vary vocabulary (e.g., “friends,” “neighbours,” “peers”) and avoid repeating phrases such as “used to” too often.

例: Yes, I did. I used to ride my bike with a group of friends almost every afternoon, and we often spent three to four hours cycling around the neighbourhood. Because I cycled so much, I stayed very fit and enjoyed exploring local parks and streets with them.

提案: Provide a direct opinion first, then support it with specific reasons or examples and use linking words. Avoid hesitation sounds and repetitive fillers (“umm,” “I, I,” “like”). Use clearer vocabulary (e.g., “popular among teenagers and children,” “commuting,” “recreational use”) and give one concrete example or contrast.

例: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in my country, especially among children and teenagers. For example, many students cycle to school or ride for leisure on weekends, and in some cities people also use bicycles for short commutes because they are cheap and convenient.

× I used to ride my bike for like 3 to 4 hours every day.

✓ I used to ride my bike for about three to four hours every day.

The original sentence is mostly grammatical, but 'like' is colloquial and not appropriate in formal correction tasks; replace with 'about' and spell out numbers under ten for formality. No -ing error actually, but small style improvement.

× Like I was really fit and really enjoyed the riding the bike.

✓ I was really fit and really enjoyed riding the bike.

The phrase 'the riding the bike' contains an unnecessary definite article before 'riding'. When using the gerund 'riding' followed by an object, do not add 'the' before the gerund. Use 'enjoyed riding the bike'. Also removed leading filler 'Like'.

× Actually they are, I guess they're most popular, umm, between teenagers or youngsters.

✓ Actually they are; I guess they are most popular among teenagers and young people.

Use 'among' (preposition) rather than 'between' when referring to a group (see preposition rules). 'Youngsters' is informal; 'young people' is clearer. Also expand contraction for clarity and correct pronoun reference 'they are' repeated for coherence.

× I, I can say like, uh, children most of the time they ride bikes with their friends like same as I did.

✓ I can say that children most of the time ride bikes with their friends just as I did.

The original has redundant subject 'children' and pronoun 'they' causing awkward repetition. Remove filler words and the extra 'they' to form 'children ... ride'. Use 'just as I did' for correct comparison. This corrects pronoun usage and sentence structure.