Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, use correct age expression and article use, and add one supporting detail with a linking word. Keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I did. I got my first bike when I was five years old. My grandmother gave it to me as a birthday present, and I remember riding it every afternoon around the neighborhood.

提案: Organize your answer: give a clear opinion first, then support it with specific reasons and use linking words. Correct grammar (avoid repetitions, fix tense and pronouns) and be specific about locations and comparisons. Keep it under five sentences.

例: I don't think bikes are very popular where I live now because traffic and long distances make cycling impractical. However, when I lived in a nearby small town with my parents, many people cycled for short trips because it was compact and safer, so bikes were much more common there.

× I remember that my first bike was around my five years old.

✓ I remember that my first bike was about five years old.

The phrase 'around my five years old' is ungrammatical. Use 'about' to indicate approximation and 'five years old' without possessive 'my'. Also 'was' with 'years old' is correct: 'was about five years old.' Suggestion: say 'about five years old.'

× Now I live in a city and I I think that they are not so popular, but when I used to live where with my parents who they live like nearby this city, it was crowded with bike because it's a small town.

✓ Now I live in a city and I think that bikes are not very popular here, but when I used to live with my parents in a small town near this city, it was crowded with bikes.

This sentence has multiple structure errors: repeated word 'I I', awkward pronouns ('they' unclear), wrong word order ('used to live where with my parents who they live like nearby this city'), singular 'bike' instead of plural. Corrections: remove duplicate 'I', use 'bikes' as general plural subject, 'here' clarifies location, restructure clause to 'when I used to live with my parents in a small town near this city' to be clear and natural, and use 'was crowded with bikes.' Suggestion: keep clauses simple and logical: 'when I used to live with my parents in a small town near this city.'

× So I guess that this allows people to to.

✓ So I guess that this made it easier for people to use bikes.

The original sentence is incomplete and repeats 'to to.' It also uses 'this allows' which conflicts with past context 'when I used to live...' Use past tense 'made' to match context and complete the idea 'made it easier for people to use bikes.' Suggestion: ensure verbs and objects complete the thought and match the time frame.