Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity, grammar and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb choices and word forms, and limit to max 5 sentences. Use linking words to add one or two specific supporting details (where you rode it, purpose, emotion). Avoid incorrect words like "write" for "ride" and unclear phrases like "daddy test."

例: Yes, I did. I used to ride my bike to junior high school every morning, which made it an essential means of transport for me. Because it was reliable and inexpensive, I depended on it for daily commuting and short errands. I remember feeling proud when I learned to balance and ride quickly.

提案: Make the answer more concise and grammatical. Begin with a clear opinion sentence, then give two specific reasons using linking words (for example, "because" and "therefore"). Use correct collocations ("reduce traffic congestion", "protect the environment", "emit carbon dioxide"). Limit to 3–4 sentences and add a short example or result.

例: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular. The government encourages cycling through bike lanes and public campaigns, so more people choose bikes for short trips. This helps reduce traffic congestion and protects the environment because bicycles do not emit carbon dioxide.

× Yes I did, I used to write to the junior high school for classes and everyday morning.

✓ Yes, I did. I used to ride a bike to junior high school every morning.

The original sentence uses incorrect verbs and awkward structure. 'Write to the junior high school' is incorrect; the intended verb is 'ride' for travelling by bike. 'Everyday morning' is ungrammatical; the correct phrase is 'every morning.' Also the sentence run-on should be split into two. Suggestion: use 'ride a bike to junior high school every morning' to express habitual past action.

× So I would say that bike was really successful and useful tools have vehicles for me to do my daddy test.

✓ So I would say that the bike was very useful and a convenient way for me to get around while I was doing my daily tasks.

This sentence has multiple problems: incorrect noun forms and agreement ('that bike' vs 'tools have vehicles'), wrong vocabulary ('successful' and 'daddy test' are incorrect), and unclear meaning. 'Useful tools have vehicles' is ungrammatical. Likely intent: the bike was useful and convenient for getting around and doing daily tasks. Also use consistent past reference 'was' and clarify 'daily tasks.' Suggestion: simplify and use correct collocations such as 'useful' and 'a convenient way to get around.'

× Yes, I do because the government is encouraging people to ride bike more frequently, but that can reduce the congestion in the road and also that can provide protect our environment because riding bicycle can't release the carbon dioxide emissions.

✓ Yes, I do, because the government is encouraging people to ride bikes more frequently. This can reduce road congestion and help protect our environment, because riding bicycles does not produce carbon dioxide emissions.

Multiple issues: 'ride bike' needs plural or article ('ride bikes' or 'ride a bike'), 'reduce the congestion in the road' should be 'reduce road congestion' (preposition/article issue), 'that can provide protect our environment' is ungrammatical (extra verb), and 'riding bicycle can't release the carbon dioxide emissions' is incorrect: 'riding bicycles does not produce carbon dioxide emissions' is correct (verb choice and article use). Also use appropriate modality: 'can' for potential effect. Suggestion: use plural nouns for general statements, remove redundant words, and use 'produce' rather than 'release' with emissions.