Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be careful with word choice and minor grammar errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verbs (ride, not write), and add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and avoid filler words.

例: Yes, I had a bike from the age of three. It was a birthday present from my father, and he taught me how to ride it. As a result, I became confident quickly and remember feeling proud the first time I rode it on my own.

提案: Remove fillers and combine ideas for coherence. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give a specific reason and an example using a linking word. Use more precise vocabulary (transport -> form of transport; electric bike -> e-bike).

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. For example, they are everywhere because they are an affordable and convenient form of transport, and increasingly people use e-bikes for longer commutes.

× He taught me how to write it.

✓ He taught me how to ride it.

The verb 'write' is incorrect in context; the student meant operating a bike, which uses the verb 'ride'. This is a word choice error rather than a grammatical tense issue. Replace 'write' with 'ride' to convey the intended meaning. Suggestion: Learn common collocations related to activities (e.g., ride a bike, drive a car) to avoid choosing incorrect verbs.

× I can still remember I felt really proud the first time I wrote it on my own.

✓ I can still remember feeling really proud the first time I rode it on my own.

Two issues: verb choice 'wrote' is incorrect—should be 'rode' for a bike (see previous). Also the sequence 'I can still remember I felt' is clumsy; using the gerund 'feeling' after 'remember' is more natural. This fixes sentence structure and verb use. Suggestion: After 'remember', use either 'remember doing something' or 'I remember that I felt...' depending on emphasis.

× Umm, I can see the bikes everywhere.

✓ Umm, I can see bikes everywhere.

Use of definite article 'the' implies specific bikes previously mentioned; in general statements about availability, omit 'the'. This is an article/usage issue aligned with present-tense general statement. Suggestion: For general facts, use plural countable nouns without 'the' (e.g., 'cars are common', 'bikes are popular').

× I think this is the most convenient transport in my country and even you can see the electric bike on the road.

✓ I think it is the most convenient form of transport in my country, and you can even see electric bikes on the road.

Multiple problems: 'this' is vague; 'it' as subject refers to 'bikes' more naturally. 'the most convenient transport' is acceptable but 'form of transport' is more natural in English. 'even you can see' is awkward word order; 'you can even see' is correct. 'the electric bike' should be plural 'electric bikes' for general observation. Suggestions: Use 'it' to refer back to 'bikes'; prefer 'form of transport' and place adverb 'even' after 'can' or before verb; use plural for general countable nouns.