Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, correct vocabulary errors (bag → bike), avoid irrelevant phrasing, and limit to up to five sentences. Use one or two linking words to connect ideas and give a specific detail (e.g., where you rode, who bought it, or a vivid memory).

例: Yes, I did have a bike when I was a child. It was a folding bike my parents gave me for my tenth birthday, and I still remember riding it around the village every evening. Because the bike was light and small, I could ride to the market and visit friends easily, which made those years very happy for me.

提案: Make the answer more fluent and logically organized. Begin with a direct statement, then give specific reasons with linking words (e.g., because, therefore) and a concrete example or statistic if possible. Simplify grammar (avoid tense confusion) and correct small errors (who's → who are/ who). Keep it within five sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because they are an affordable and efficient way to avoid heavy traffic. For example, many office workers cycle short distances to work, especially in crowded cities. As a result, cycling is often faster than driving for commutes under five kilometers and also helps people save on transport costs.

× Yes, I did have a bag when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I did have a bike when I was a child.

The student answered the examiner's question about a bike but wrote 'bag' instead of 'bike', which is a lexical error rather than grammar. However it causes a pronoun/ reference mismatch with the question; correcting the noun ensures coherence with the question. Suggestion: use the same noun referenced in the question to avoid confusion.

× It was my favorite gift for my parents and it was a folding bike.

✓ It was my favorite gift from my parents and it was a folding bike.

The preposition 'for' is incorrect when indicating the giver of a gift; 'from my parents' is correct. This is a preposition use issue but mainly affects sentence meaning and structure. Suggestion: use 'from' to indicate the giver: 'a gift from my parents.'

× They wanted the Visoria and up until now I really love biking around my village, so it really gives me a very good childhood memory.

✓ They bought the Visoria for me, and even now I really enjoy biking around my village, so it gives me very good childhood memories.

Pronoun 'they wanted the Visoria' is unnatural; likely intended meaning is parents bought it. 'Up until now' is awkward with 'really love' — use 'even now' or 'still'. 'Gives me a very good childhood memory' is ungrammatical: 'gives me memories' or 'is a very good childhood memory.' Also use plural 'memories.' Suggestion: use clear verbs (bought), use 'still/even now' for continuing actions, and match singular/plural nouns appropriately.

× Yes, I think bikes are very popular here in our country since it's another way of transportation here then because of the traffic, and it was and it is very convenient for the people who's commuting or going to work.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are very popular in our country because they are another means of transportation given the traffic, and they were and still are very convenient for people who commute or go to work.

Multiple tense and agreement issues: 'it's another way of transportation' should be plural 'they are another means of transportation' to match 'bikes.' 'Then because of the traffic' is incorrect connector; use 'because' or 'given the traffic.' 'It was and it is' should be 'they were and still are' to match plural subject and indicate past and present. 'Who's commuting' is incorrect: use 'who are commuting' or 'who commute.' Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement (plural subject with plural verbs), use appropriate connectors, and keep tense consistency when comparing past and present.