Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevap doğrudan ve anlaşılır, ancak bazı dilbilgisi hataları ve tekrarlar var. Cümleleri daha doğal hale getirmek için kısa, net bir konu cümlesi kurun, ardından bağlantı sözcükleriyle (for example, because) bir veya iki destekleyici ayrıntı ekleyin. Ayrıca ‘I had’ tekrarından kaçının ve ‘which’ veya ‘that’ ile ilgili cümleleri düzgün bağlayın. Örneğin yaş, renk, özellik ve neden güvenli olduğunu belirtirken basit geçmiş zaman kullanımını düzgün tutun.

例: Yes, I did. My dad bought me a pink bike with sparkles when I was seven. It had training wheels, which made it ideal for a beginner, and I felt very safe riding it.

提案: Cevapta görüş belirtilmiş ama dilbilgisi, kelime seçimi ve mantıksal akışta önemli sorunlar var. 'Need to change' gibi ifadeler yerine daha doğru yapı kullanın; 'bikes are very environments vehicle' yerine 'environmentally friendly' gibi uygun sıfat kullanın. Cümleleri bağlamak için 'however', 'because' ya da 'for example' gibi bağlaçlar kullanın. Ayrıca, spesifik örnekler (örneğin: kaç yaş grubu, şehirlerdeki bisiklet yollarının eksikliği) ekleyin ve cümle sayısını 3–4’te tutun.

例: I think bicycles are fairly popular among teenagers, but their use needs to increase overall because bikes are environmentally friendly. However, most cyclists I see are children, and there are very few dedicated bike lanes in my city, which creates safety problems.

× Yes, I had.

✓ Yes, I did.

The student used 'had' alone as a short answer to 'Did you have a bike...' In English, short answers to past simple questions use the auxiliary did + subject (or just 'Yes/No' + auxiliary). Using 'had' is incorrect here. Suggestion: use 'Yes, I did.' or 'Yes, I had a bike.'

× I had a pink bike with the sparkles on it my dad bought me when I was seven years old that had four wheels.

✓ I had a pink bike with sparkles on it that my dad bought me when I was seven; it had four wheels.

The original sentence is long and confusing due to misplaced modifiers. 'With the sparkles on it my dad bought me' wrongly links the sparkle phrase and the relative clause. Reordering to 'pink bike with sparkles on it that my dad bought me when I was seven' and separating the clause about four wheels improves clarity and grammar. Suggestion: place modifiers next to the noun they describe and use punctuation to separate ideas.

× It was very good for a new starter and it was very safe.

✓ It was very good for a beginner and it was very safe.

'New starter' is not natural in this context; 'beginner' or 'someone new to cycling' is the correct adjective/noun choice. Use natural collocations: 'good for a beginner.' Keep concise: 'It was very suitable for a beginner and very safe.'

× I think they are popular among the teenagers but I think it's need to change because bikes are very environments vehicle.

✓ I think they are popular among teenagers, but I think this needs to change because bikes are very environmentally friendly vehicles.

Multiple issues: 'the teenagers' is incorrect article use — use 'teenagers' generally. 'It's need to change' is wrong verb structure; use 'this needs to change.' 'Very environments vehicle' is ungrammatical; correct form is 'very environmentally friendly vehicles.' Suggestion: use correct noun/verb agreement and proper adjective/adverb forms (environmentally friendly) and pluralize 'vehicles' to match general statement.

× But nowadays I see most of them are child and in my country there is no bicycle routes and that needs a very safety problem.

✓ But nowadays I see most of them are children, and in my country there are no bicycle routes, which causes a serious safety problem.

Problems: 'most of them are child' — 'child' should be plural 'children.' 'There is no bicycle routes' mixes singular 'is' with plural 'routes'; use 'there are no bicycle routes.' 'That needs a very safety problem' is incorrect phrasing; better is 'which causes a serious safety problem.' Suggestion: ensure pronouns and nouns agree in number and use correct relative clauses to express cause and effect.