Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and complete: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers and pauses, and provide one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words if adding details. Keep it under five sentences and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I loved riding it around my neighborhood because it gave me freedom to explore places near my home. For example, I used to cycle to the park every afternoon, which helped me make friends and get exercise.

提案: Be concise and precise: give a clear opinion, use a linking word to justify it, and provide a specific reason or example. Avoid repeating words (e.g., "friendly, environmental friendly") and use correct collocations like "environmentally friendly."

例: At the moment bikes are not very popular in my country, but I think they will become more common in the future because people and governments are promoting environmentally friendly transport. For instance, some cities are building bike lanes and running campaigns to reduce car use.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a child and to be honest, I really enjoyed it because, uh, I had the chance to enjoy the the in terms of the.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, and to be honest, I really enjoyed it because I had the chance to be outdoors and explore the neighborhood.

The original sentence is incomplete and contains repetition ('the the') and an unfinished phrase ('in terms of the'). This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). To fix it, supply the missing object and complete the idea so the sentence has a clear subject, verb, and object. Remove filler words ('uh') and duplicate words. Suggestion: plan the idea before speaking, use a simple complete clause such as 'I had the chance to be outdoors and explore the neighborhood.'

× At the moment they are not, but I think in the future they will be very popular because people are trying to find solutions that are friendly, environmental friendly.

✓ At the moment they are not, but I think in the future they will be very popular because people are trying to find solutions that are environmentally friendly.

The phrase 'environmental friendly' incorrectly uses an adjective where an adverbial form is required to modify 'friendly' or the compound should be 'environmentally friendly' (ID 13). Use the adverb 'environmentally' to modify 'friendly' or use the compound adjective 'environmentally friendly.' Also remove the redundant comma before 'environmentally friendly.'