Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify and correct grammar, avoid repetition, and give a clear, coherent response with specific details. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add 1–2 supporting details using correct verb forms and linking words. Correct common errors: say “bought it for me,” use past continuous or simple past correctly (e.g., “I rode it to school”), and avoid repeating the same phrase twice.

例: Yes. I got a bike when I was twelve because my father bought it for me as a birthday present. I rode it to school with my friends almost every day, which gave me a lot of independence and helped me stay active.

提案: Correct vocabulary and pronunciation mistakes (e.g., ‘bikes’ not ‘bars’), reduce hesitation, and organize ideas with linking words. Begin with a clear opinion, then provide specific reasons and a contrast using linking phrases like “however” and “on the other hand.” Use complete sentences and concrete examples (e.g., cost, convenience, distance).

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular among students and people living close to schools because they are inexpensive and convenient. However, many adults prefer cars or motorcycles for longer commutes or when they have to carry children or heavy items, so bike use is less common among working adults.

× My father bought it to me, bought it for me as a gift.

✓ My father bought it for me as a gift.

The preposition 'to' is incorrect after 'bought' in this context; English uses 'buy something for someone' to indicate the recipient. Remove the incorrect 'to' and keep 'for me'.

× And I remember I writing.

✓ And I remember writing it.

After 'remember' when referring to a past action, use the gerund (verb+-ing) without an extra subject pronoun. 'I remember I writing' is ungrammatical; use 'I remember writing (it)' or 'I remember that I wrote it' depending on meaning.

× I was writing it to school with my friends every day.

✓ I rode it to school with my friends every day.

The verb 'writing' is wrong; context requires 'ride' for using a bike. Also 'ride to school' is the correct collocation. 'Writing it to school' is incorrect verb choice and preposition use.

× Uh, well, uh, actually bars are pretty popular among school people, uh, because they are very They are inexpensive and convenient way to get the school.

✓ Uh, well, actually bikes are pretty popular among students because they are an inexpensive and convenient way to get to school.

Multiple issues: 'bars' is a wrong word; should be 'bikes'. 'School people' is unnatural; use 'students'. 'They are very They are' is redundant. Needs article before 'inexpensive' when modified by 'an ... way'. Also 'get the school' should be 'get to school'. This correction addresses word choice, article use, and preposition 'to'.

× However, many adults prefer other forms of transport, such as car or motorcycle, because they need to.

✓ However, many adults prefer other forms of transport, such as cars or motorcycles, because they need to.

Singular nouns 'car or motorcycle' should be plural to match 'other forms of transport' and the general meaning. The clause 'because they need to' is incomplete; it is acceptable but clearer to leave as 'because they need to' only if followed by an implied verb; better is 'because they need to' with understood 'do so'—here keeping plural nouns is the primary correction.