Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using correct tense and linking words. Avoid repetition of words like “once” and correct verb forms (e.g., “taught” not “teach”). Keep to a maximum of 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My friend taught me how to ride it, but I fell the first time and got a bruise on my knee. After that I practiced a lot and soon I could ride confidently.

提案: Provide a clear opinion first, then give specific, coherent reasons with correct grammar and linking words. Use present tense for general statements (are popular) and past tense for personal anecdotes. Avoid vague phrases like “have fun with the farm.”

例: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in my country. Many people used bicycles during the pandemic for exercise and local travel, and in rural areas people often use them to get around farms and villages.

× Yes, I had a bike once when I was a child and one day my friend once teach me how to ride once.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, and one day my friend taught me how to ride.

The sentence contains incorrect verb tense and redundant adverbs. 'Teach' should be in the past tense 'taught' to match 'had' and 'was' (past narrative). Remove repeated 'once' and extra 'once' at the end because they are redundant and make the sentence awkward. Suggestion: keep a single time marker if needed (e.g., 'once' at most once) and ensure verbs describing past events use past tense.

× So I that's why I had a bruise on my knees.

✓ That's why I had a bruise on my knee.

The original mixes 'So I' and 'that's why' leading to ungrammatical structure and subject confusion. Use a single clause: 'That's why I had a bruise on my knee.' Also 'knees' is plural but context implies one bruise; change to singular 'knee' unless multiple bruises were meant. Suggestion: avoid combining 'So' with 'that's why I' and choose one coherent connector.

× I think bikes are popular in my country because one time when I was riding my bike during those pandemic, I was like 17 years old.

✓ I think bikes are popular in my country because, during the pandemic when I was about 17 years old, I often rode my bike.

There is a tense and phrasing issue: 'during those pandemic' is incorrect article and noun form; use 'during the pandemic'. 'One time when I was riding' is awkward for a general observation; use a clearer time clause. Also 'I was like 17 years old' is colloquial; replace with 'I was about 17 years old'. Ensure consistency of tense and correct article use.

× Back then many are using the bike for exercising and have fun with the farm.

✓ Back then many people were using bikes for exercise and to have fun on the farm.

The original has present progressive 'are using' which doesn't match 'Back then' (past reference); change to past progressive 'were using'. 'Many' needs a noun 'people' for clarity. 'The bike' should be plural 'bikes' to match 'many people'. 'Exercising' is better as the noun 'exercise', and 'have fun with the farm' is unnatural; use 'have fun on the farm.' Suggestion: match verb tense to time adverbials and use natural collocations (exercise, on the farm).