Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, organize your response with a clear topic sentence, then add 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and incorrect tense consistency. Mention one clear memorable detail (e.g., where you rode it or a particular accident) and correct past tense forms.

例: Yes. I received a bicycle from my father as a surprise when I was twelve. Because I rode it to school every day, I often fell off in the early months and had a few minor injuries, but I quickly became more confident and rode it safely by the next year.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence, then give 1–2 specific reasons with linking words and an example. Improve grammar (use plural/singular consistently), and replace vague phrases like "easiest gift" with clearer expressions such as "common gift". Use clearer linking words (for example, because, moreover, for instance).

例: Yes, bicycles are very popular in my country because they are cheap and convenient for short journeys. For example, many parents buy bikes for their children as a common gift, and children often use them to travel to school or to practice riding before learning to drive a motorbike.

× I had a bike when I was 12 years old.

✓ I had a bike when I was 12 years old.

No change needed; sentence correctly uses past tense to describe a past possession.

× It was a gift from my father.

✓ It was a gift from my father.

No change needed; sentence is grammatically correct and appropriately in past tense.

× It was a surprise gift.

✓ It was a surprise gift.

No change needed; simple past tense is appropriate and sentence structure is correct.

× I usually had many accidents with it, a minor.

✓ I often had many minor accidents with it.

Original uses 'usually' with past simple which can be acceptable but 'often' is more natural for repeated past events; 'a minor' is incorrect fragment — 'minor accidents' correctly modifies 'accidents'. Use 'had' for past habitual actions.

× I usually end up getting many operations and I used to travel using my bike to school.

✓ I often ended up needing many treatments, and I used to travel to school by bike.

This sentence mixes present habitual 'usually end up' with past 'used to'. Because the context is past (childhood), change 'usually' to 'often' and 'end up getting many operations' to a more natural past phrasing 'ended up needing many treatments'. Also 'travel using my bike' is awkward; use 'travel to school by bike'. Ensure consistent past tense for past habits.

× Definitely yes, because it's more convenient and it is the easiest gift a parent can get to a child in our country and it is easier way to learn how to drive a basic bike.

✓ Definitely yes, because it's more convenient, and it is the easiest gift a parent can give a child in our country, and it is an easy way to learn how to ride a basic bike.

Several issues: 'get to a child' is incorrect verb choice — parents 'give' gifts, not 'get to a child'. Missing article before 'easy way' — use 'an easy way'. 'Learn how to drive a basic bike' is unnatural; use 'learn how to ride a basic bike'. Maintain present tense as the question asks about general popularity, so present simple is appropriate.