Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct minor grammar errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid unnecessary words and keep it under five sentences. For example, correct tense and word order: say the color and a distinctive detail, and explain why you liked it.

例: Yes. I had a blue bike when I was six that had a small basket on the front. I loved it because it looked cute and made it easy to carry my toys when I rode to my friend’s house.

提案: This answer has several vocabulary and grammar errors and is unclear. Begin with a clear opinion sentence, then give two specific reasons using linking words (for example, because / however). Use correct vocabulary (e.g., 'bikes', 'elderly', 'motorbikes', 'common', 'people') and avoid irrelevant words like 'Airways'. Keep it coherent and concise.

例: No, I don't think bicycles are very popular among young people in Vietnam. In my opinion, elderly people often use bicycles for short trips, because they are cheaper and safer. However, most young people prefer motorbikes since they are faster and more convenient for longer distances.

× Of course, when I was six years old I had a bike which is blue and had a small basket on the in top.

✓ Of course, when I was six years old I had a blue bike with a small basket on the top.

Mistakes: 'which is blue' is awkward in this simple past description and 'on the in top' uses incorrect prepositions and word order. Use 'blue bike' (adjective before noun) and the correct preposition phrase 'with a small basket on the top' or simply 'with a small basket on top'. This keeps tense consistent (past) and uses correct preposition placement. Suggestion: Place adjectives before nouns ('blue bike') and use 'with' to indicate an accessory and 'on top' or 'on the top' for location.

× Uh, in my opinion, bags are normally popular amongst the elderlies because in Vietnam the young girls and normally use motorbike instead so, and it is harder to follow the Airways to use it, so it is more.

✓ Uh, in my opinion, bikes are normally popular among older people because in Vietnam young women normally use motorbikes instead, and it is harder for older people to follow them, so bikes are more common among the elderly.

Multiple errors corrected and aligned with listed types: 'bags' should be 'bikes' (word choice; treated here as pronoun/reference error), 'elderlies' is incorrect plural of 'elderly' (use 'older people' or 'the elderly'), 'the young girls and normally use motorbike' has extra 'and' and wrong noun forms; 'motorbike' should be plural 'motorbikes' and 'young women' is more natural. 'Follow the Airways to use it' is nonsensical; likely meant 'it is harder for older people to use them' or 'to follow them' — corrected to 'it is harder for older people to follow them' and clarified final clause 'so bikes are more common among the elderly.' Use 'among' instead of 'amongst' optionally. Suggestions: choose correct nouns, use 'older people' or 'the elderly' for older adults, use plural agreement for general statements, remove extraneous words like 'and'.