Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence, use correct tense and vocabulary, avoid unrelated words (you said “bag/back” not bike) and keep it concise (max 3–4 short sentences). Correct grammar: use past simple for past facts (I had). Add one or two specific supporting details (color, age, who gave it). Use linking words if needed (for example, “and” or “it was”).

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was a red bicycle that my parents gave me for my tenth birthday, and I rode it to school and around the neighborhood. I remember practicing every afternoon until I felt confident riding on busy streets.

提案: Start with a clear opinion (Yes/No/Partly) and follow with concise reasons using correct grammar and vocabulary. Use linking words (because, but, however) and avoid repetitive words. Provide one or two specific reasons or examples (e.g., city traffic, public transport improvements, bike lanes). Keep it to 2–3 sentences max.

例: I think bikes are still fairly popular, especially for short trips, because cycling is cheap, eco-friendly and good exercise. However, more people now choose buses or the subway in big cities because public transport is faster and more convenient during rush hour.

× Sure, I have a bag when I was a child.

✓ Sure, I had a bike when I was a child.

The student used the wrong pronoun/noun ('bag' instead of 'bike') and incorrect tense. The question asked about a bike in childhood, so use past tense 'had' for possession in the past. Suggestion: use 'I had a bike when I was a child.' to match meaning and past-time reference.

× Actually I have a red back, which is my gift when I was 10th birthday.

✓ Actually I had a red bike, which was a gift for my 10th birthday.

Multiple errors: wrong tense ('have' should be past 'had'), incorrect noun ('back' should be 'bike'), and incorrect phrase 'when I was 10th birthday' should be 'for my 10th birthday'. Use past tense to describe past possession and passive/active phrasing 'was a gift for'. Suggestion: 'Actually I had a red bike, which was a gift for my 10th birthday.'

× Yeah, my parents sent it to me.

✓ Yeah, my parents gave it to me.

'Sent' implies mailing; context is giving a gift, so 'gave' is more appropriate. Also both verbs are past tense and acceptable, but 'gave' better matches 'gift'. Suggestion: use 'gave' to express receiving a present.

× Yeah this used to be because cycling is a eco friendly and health way for people to have a shorter distance train but not as people more more try to to take a bus or take a subway instead of cycling.

✓ Yes. Cycling used to be popular because it is an eco-friendly and healthy way to travel short distances, but more people now try to take a bus or the subway instead of cycling.

This sentence has many structural and grammar errors: 'this used to be' lacks a clear subject; 'a eco friendly' should be 'an eco-friendly' (article and hyphenation), 'health way' should be 'healthy way', 'to have a shorter distance train' is incorrect — use 'to travel short distances', duplicated words 'more more' and 'to to', and missing article before 'subway'. Correct the sentence structure to clarify meaning, use appropriate articles ('an'), adjectives ('healthy'), correct infinitive form 'to travel', and remove duplicate words. Suggestion: 'Cycling used to be popular because it is an eco-friendly and healthy way to travel short distances, but more people now try to take a bus or the subway instead of cycling.'