Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer more concise and natural. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense and article usage (e.g., “my first bike” not “my first bike ever” is fine, and say “it was a birthday gift” rather than “It's on my birthday”). Avoid repeating ideas and reduce long introductory phrases.

例: Yes. I got my first bike when I was five. It was a pink bike imported from Japan and my father gave it to me as a birthday present. I loved it because it felt special to receive such a meaningful gift.

提案: Answer directly and use clearer grammar and linking words. Start with a short opinion sentence, then give specific reasons and an example. Fix grammar: say “I don’t think bicycles are very popular” and use phrases like “because” or “for example.” Avoid awkward phrases like “as a civilizations of my country.”

例: Not really. I don’t think bicycles are very popular in my country because most people prefer motorbikes for daily commuting. For example, in my town almost everyone rides a motorbike to work since it is faster and more convenient for long distances.

× Back then, when I was a child, at the age of five, I used to have my first bike ever.

✓ Back then, when I was a child at the age of five, I had my first bike.

The phrase 'used to have' is unnecessary when describing a single past event; 'used to' indicates a habitual past action. Also 'my first bike ever' is redundant with 'first.' Use simple past 'had' to state a past possession. Suggestion: use 'I had my first bike' for clear, native phrasing.

× It was pink and from Japan.

✓ It was pink and made in Japan.

'From Japan' is not ungrammatical but 'made in Japan' is more natural when referring to the origin of an object. This is an adjective/phrase choice issue: replace 'from' with 'made in' to clarify manufacturing origin.

× I really love the bike because it is the first gift I ever received from my dad.

✓ I really loved the bike because it was the first gift I ever received from my dad.

The context is past (childhood), so present tense 'love' and 'is' are inconsistent. Use past tense 'loved' and 'was' to match the time frame. Maintain 'received' in present perfect simple if linking past event; 'ever received' is acceptable, but 'I received' or 'I had received' can also work.

× It's on my birthday.

✓ It was for my birthday.

'It's on my birthday' is awkward in past narrative; use 'It was for my birthday' to indicate the gift's occasion. This is a sentence structure/usage issue: 'for my birthday' correctly expresses that the bike was a birthday present.

× In reality, as a civilizations of my country, I don't think bike really popular.

✓ In reality, as a citizen of my country, I don't think bikes are very popular.

Multiple issues: 'civilizations' is the wrong noun; 'citizen' fits. 'bike' should be plural 'bikes' and needs the verb 'are' for agreement. 'really popular' should be 'very popular' or 'really popular' with correct word order. This correction fixes word choice and subject-verb agreement.

× In my local places people usually use a motorbike to driving to works or somewhere else, so cycling is not their things.

✓ In my area, people usually use motorbikes to drive to work or to go elsewhere, so cycling is not common for them.

Problems: 'local places' is unnatural; 'area' is better. 'a motorbike' -> 'motorbikes' to match plural subject. Verb form 'to driving' should be 'to drive' (infinitive). 'works' should be 'work' (uncountable in this context). 'somewhere else' -> 'elsewhere'. 'so cycling is not their things' is incorrect pronoun/phrase; use 'not common for them.' This fixes pronoun use, verb form, and collocation.