Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct verb tense and article use, avoid repetition and filler words.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It made me very happy because I used to ride it to visit friends and explore the neighborhood, which gave me a lot of freedom and confidence.

提案: Answer directly with a clear reason and specific examples. Use linking words (because, for example, so) and correct tense/agreement. Remove filler phrases like “umm” and avoid repeating the same idea.

例: Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because many children learn to cycle from a young age. For example, parents often teach their kids in parks, and bicycles are a common, affordable way to travel short distances.

× Yes, I had a yes, I had a bike whenever when I were a child.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.

The student mixed words and used incorrect past-tense verb form 'were' with singular subject 'I'. Use simple past 'was' for first-person singular. Remove redundant words 'a yes' and choose one time expression: 'when I was a child.' Suggestion: say 'Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.'

× I think it could be make happier then, because it was really important for for me as a amusing.

✓ I think it made me happier then because it was really important to me and very enjoyable.

Multiple issues: incorrect modal construction 'could be make' (verb form error), wrong preposition 'for for me', incorrect phrase 'as a amusing'. Use simple past 'made' to match time frame, use 'to me' for importance, and replace 'as a amusing' with an adjective phrase 'very enjoyable' or 'a lot of fun.' Suggestion: 'I think it made me happier then because it was really important to me and very enjoyable.'

× Yes, I think so, because many children, umm, well, I mean they were many children.

✓ Yes, I think so, because many children, I mean, there were many children learning to ride.

Awkward phrasing and redundant clause. The filler 'they were many children' is incorrect word order. Use 'there were many children' to state existence in past context, or 'many children learn' for general present. Suggestion: 'because many children learn to ride' if speaking generally, or 'there were many children learning to ride' if referring to past.

× They were learning how to cycle from child from their childhood.

✓ They learn to cycle from childhood.

Redundant words and incorrect preposition 'from child'. For general habit use simple present 'learn' and the phrase 'from childhood' is correct. Alternatively, 'They learned to cycle in their childhood' for past. Suggestion: 'They learn to cycle from childhood.'

× And yeah, it's popular.

✓ And yes, it's popular.

Minor issue: 'yeah' is informal; replace with 'yes' for appropriate register. Tense 'it's popular' (present) is correct if stating a general fact. Suggestion: 'And yes, it's popular.'