Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words (uh, like) and incomplete sentences. Aim for 3–4 coherent sentences and finish your thought.

例: Yes, I had a bicycle when I was a child. It was during grade six that mountain biking became very popular at my school, especially because older students rode them. As a result, many of us saved up to buy similar bikes and spent weekends exploring nearby trails.

提案: Provide a concise direct answer then support with clear, specific reasons and a brief example. Reduce filler phrases and avoid vague words like "stuff." Use linking words (however, because, therefore) to improve coherence.

例: Generally no — bicycles are not widely used for daily transport in Nepal because the terrain is very hilly. However, they are popular for short rides and recreational purposes; for example, many people enjoy mountain biking on local trails during weekends.

× I remember we like, it was in grade 6 or 7 when all of us were like addicted with mountain bikes.

✓ I remember it was in grade 6 or 7 when all of us were addicted to mountain bikes.

The original mixes present filler 'like' and incorrect preposition 'addicted with'. Use simple past 'it was' and 'addicted to' to express past state. Remove unnecessary 'we' and filler 'like' for clarity. Suggestion: use 'addicted to' for the correct collocation and keep tense consistent.

× I remember we like, it was in grade 6 or 7 when all of us were like addicted with mountain bikes.

✓ I remember it was in grade 6 or 7 when all of us were addicted to mountain bikes.

The verb 'addicted' pairs with the preposition 'to', not 'with'. Also remove filler 'like' which does not add meaning. Keep past simple 'was' to match the time reference.

× Uh, so it was really a trend, I would say in our school of riding bikes since the seniors, uh, used to ride bikes as well.

✓ So it was really a trend in our school because the seniors used to ride bikes as well.

The original is run-on and has misplaced phrase 'I would say'. Combine clauses with a clear conjunction ('because') and remove disfluencies ('uh', 'I would say') to make a grammatical, concise past-tense sentence.

× So it was really a trend and I remember all of us purchasing our bikes like within a.

✓ So it was really a trend, and I remember all of us buying our bikes around that time.

The fragment 'within a.' is incomplete. Use 'around that time' to complete the temporal idea. Also 'purchasing' is formal; 'buying' is more natural in speech. Keep past tense 'remember' + gerund phrase consistent.

× Since my country of Nepal is very hilly, people don't really use bike as a form of day-to-day transportation.

✓ Since my country, Nepal, is very hilly, people don't really use bikes as a form of day-to-day transportation.

Count noun 'bike' needs plural 'bikes' when speaking generally. Also add commas around 'Nepal' for apposition. The verb form 'don't really use' is fine; fix noun number to match general reference.

× It's only used for like short rides or for recreational activities for example.

✓ They're only used for short rides or for recreational activities, for example.

Subject 'bikes' (plural) requires plural pronoun 'they' and the preposition 'for' is correct but redundant before 'like'; remove 'like' as filler. Add a comma before 'for example'. Ensure pronoun and verb agree with plural noun.

× I think the most common use of bike is definitely mountain biking, so you're riding in trails and stuff, but it's not really as a form of transport.

✓ I think the most common use of bikes is definitely mountain biking, so you're riding on trails and stuff, but they are not really used as a form of transport.

Use plural 'bikes' for general statement. Use 'on trails' (correct preposition) not 'in trails'. Replace vague 'it's' with 'they are' to refer back to bikes and maintain plural agreement. Also rephrase 'not really as a form of transport' to 'not really used as a form of transport' to include the verb.