Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Good direct response with a clear topic sentence and specific supporting details. To improve further, shorten slightly to avoid redundancy (keep within 3–4 concise sentences), and add a linking phrase to make the sequence of information flow naturally.

例: Yes — I had a bright red bike with a bell and training wheels. I rode it around the neighborhood every afternoon with my friends, and we often challenged each other to small races.

提案: The answer addresses the question but contains many hesitations, repetitions, and an unfinished ending. Improve by giving one clear topic sentence, using linking words for reasons, and giving specific examples (e.g., commuters, students, leisure riders). Also avoid filler words and finish your thought in a complete sentence.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. For example, many people commute to work and students ride to school, and others cycle for exercise or leisure, so you can see many cyclists on the streets every day.

× Yes, every day when I was, uh, every time when I was free, I walked through the town and uh, will see a lot of people ride their bikes, uh, maybe they want to take exercise or maybe they will go to the destination, but, uh, anyway, a lot of.

✓ Yes, every day when I was free I would walk through the town and see a lot of people riding their bikes; maybe they wanted to exercise or maybe they were going to their destinations, but anyway, there were many people cycling.

Multiple tense and form errors: the student mixes past and future ('will see') and uses incorrect verb forms. Use 'would' for habitual past actions ('I would walk') or 'used to'. Use past forms for reported actions ('wanted', 'were going'). Use the gerund 'riding' after 'people' and 'going to their destinations' for clarity. Also supply a subject for 'a lot of' by saying 'there were many people cycling'. Improvements: maintain past tense consistently for past habits, use gerunds for ongoing actions in that past context, and provide complete clauses.