Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more coherent and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., "Yes, I did have a bike as a child."), then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid filler words like "umm" and fix grammar (possessive forms, prepositions). Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, "because" or "so").

例: Yes, I did have a bike as a child. My grandfather bought it for me, and because our house had a long path in front, my brother and I used to ride there every afternoon. We rode together for hours, taking turns racing and practicing tricks.

提案: Give a direct answer about nationwide popularity first, then support it with your campus example. Correct sentence structure and avoid vague phrases like "it's only 10 minutes per." Use linking words (for example, "for instance", "therefore") and provide clearer specifics (how common, who uses them, reasons).

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. For instance, at my university (NTU) the campus is very large, so many students ride bicycles to get from one lecture hall to another; typically a ride takes about ten minutes, which makes cycling faster and more convenient than walking.

× The bike was bought by my grandpa and because our umm my house.

✓ The bike was bought by my grandpa and kept at our house.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and fragments: 'because our umm my house' is not a valid clause. Use the past participle 'bought' correctly in passive voice and add a clear verb phrase 'kept at our house' to express where the bike was located. Suggestion: replace the unclear fragment with a complete verb phrase to make the sentence grammatical and coherent.

× In front of the house there's a long aisle so me and my brother always ride along the aisles on and on again.

✓ In front of the house there's a long alley, so my brother and I always rode along it again and again.

Pronoun case: 'me and my brother' should be 'my brother and I' when used as the subject. 'Aisle' is the wrong word for an outdoor path; 'alley' or 'path' is more appropriate. Tense consistency with earlier past context: use past tense 'rode'. 'On and on again' is awkward; use 'again and again' or 'over and over again'. Also use singular reference 'it' or plural consistently. Suggestion: use correct subject order and pronoun case, choose the proper noun for the path, and maintain past tense.

× Ah yes, As for me, I'm a college student in NTU.

✓ Ah yes. As for me, I'm a college student at NTU.

Preposition: use 'at' with institutions like universities rather than 'in' to indicate attendance. Also punctuation: split into two sentences for clarity. Suggestion: use 'at NTU' to sound natural and correct in English.

× The campus is really big so if you want to move from one building to another lecture building, you have to ride bicycle because it's only 10 minutes per.

✓ The campus is really big, so if you want to move from one lecture building to another, you have to ride a bicycle because it takes only 10 minutes.

Multiple issues: article before 'bicycle' is missing—use 'a bicycle'. Word order for 'one lecture building to another' is more natural. '10 minutes per' is incorrect; use 'it takes only 10 minutes' to express duration. Also add a comma before 'so' for clarity. Suggestion: include the correct article, reorder the noun phrase, and use a clear expression for time duration.