Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and use past tense consistently. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “Yes, I did.”), then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler sounds (uh, um) and repetitions. For example, describe the bike’s color and size, and include a brief comparison to how you felt about it then vs now.

例: Yes, I did. It was a small red bike that I loved when I was little. However, at the time it seemed huge to me, whereas now it looks very small. I remember riding it every afternoon around my neighborhood.

提案: Give a clear opinion with a coherent reason and specific supporting details. Use correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g., “use foot” rather than “use food”), and connect ideas with a linking word like “because” or “although.” Avoid short, unclear answers and filler words. If unsure, qualify your statement and give an example or comparison.

例: I don’t think bikes are very popular in my country because most people prefer walking or using public transport for short trips. For instance, in cities many people walk to the market, and cars or buses are more common for longer journeys.

× Yes. I do umm the the color of my bike is red and it and it uh really small right now when I'm when I was young, I thought it's very big, but right now it's looks uh.

✓ Yes. The color of my bike is red and it was really small. When I was young, I thought it was very big, but now it looks small.

Multiple present tense and tense-mix errors: the student switches between present and past incorrectly and uses extra filler words. Use simple past for childhood references ('was') and present simple for current states ('is' or 'looks'). Remove unnecessary 'do' and repeated words. Use consistent subject-verb agreement: 'it looks' (not 'it's looks'). Suggestion: plan sentences before speaking, keep tense consistent for each time frame, and avoid fillers like 'umm' and repeated words.

× I don't think so because, uh, most people in my country. Use food for walking.

✓ I don't think so because most people in my country walk instead of riding bikes.

The original contains a sentence fragment and an incorrect phrase 'use food for walking' which is nonsensical. Fix by creating a complete sentence and using the correct verb 'walk' to express the idea of traveling on foot. Also remove filler 'uh' and unnecessary period. Suggestion: ensure each sentence has a subject and verb and choose appropriate verbs for actions (e.g., 'walk' not 'use food for walking').