Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify and correct grammar, reduce repetition, and add a specific detail. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two supporting details using linking words. Use correct verb forms and vocabulary (e.g. "fall off" instead of "bite").

例: Yes. My father bought me a bicycle when I was a child, and I loved riding it. However, at first I fell off it a few times and had several small accidents, so I learned to be more careful. Despite that, I enjoyed cycling and kept using it every day.

提案: Make a direct statement, then support it with specific reasons and linking words. Correct modal and quantifier errors (e.g. "many don't" not "many shouldn't"), use plural forms correctly, and give concrete examples (students, commuters, or recreational riders).

例: Yes, I think bicycles are very popular in my country because many students and commuters use them to save money and avoid traffic. Additionally, a lot of people cycle for exercise and leisure on weekends, so you see bikes in parks and on city bike lanes.

× Yes, when I was young my dad bought me a bike and I really love it.

✓ Yes, when I was young my dad bought me a bike and I really loved it.

The sentence mixes past tense ('was', 'bought') with present tense ('love'). Maintain past tense for past events: use 'loved'. Suggestion: keep all verbs describing past experiences in past tense.

× At first I got a bite, I bite is and then got many time accidents.

✓ At first I got a bit bruised and then had many minor accidents.

Multiple errors: 'got a bite' is incorrect collocation; likely meant 'got a bit bruised' or 'got a few scratches'. Also tense and construction: 'I bite is' is ungrammatical. Use simple past 'got' and 'had' for past experiences. Replace 'many time accidents' with 'many minor accidents' or 'many accidents'. Suggestion: choose correct collocations for injuries and keep past tense.

× Anyway I still love it.

✓ Anyway, I still love it.

This sentence correctly uses present tense to express a current feeling about a past possession, so keep present 'love'. Only punctuation improvement: add comma after 'Anyway'. No tense change needed.

× Yes, because many shouldn't want a bicycle.

✓ Yes, because many people don't want a car and prefer a bicycle.

Original 'many shouldn't want a bicycle' is incorrect: misuse of modal 'shouldn't' and missing subject 'people'. The intended meaning likely contrasts cars and bicycles. If intended to say many people want bicycles, use 'many people want bicycles' or if negative, clarify. Suggestion: add subject 'people' and use appropriate verb/modal.

× So I think it's very popular for student.

✓ So I think it's very popular with students.

Use plural 'students' and the preposition 'with' to indicate popularity among a group. 'For student' is incorrect noun number and preposition. Suggestion: use 'popular with students' or 'popular among students'.

× Or maybe I do people use bicycle for exercise too.

✓ Maybe people also use bicycles for exercise.

The original has incorrect word order and an unnecessary auxiliary 'do'. Correct word order: subject (people) + adverb (also) + verb (use) + object (bicycles) + purpose (for exercise). Use plural 'bicycles'.

× You can use.

✓ You can use them for exercise or transportation.

The short fragment 'You can use.' is incomplete and lacks an object. Provide a complete sentence with object 'them' referring to bicycles and clarify purpose. Suggestion: always include the object when using 'use'.